View Blogs By Author: Angela Lindsey

(Guest Contributor)

On a good day, I wrestle man-eating tigers, fight off rampaging ninjas and enjoy a nice latte. On a bad day, I defeat ravening hordes of zombies, chase away evil alien invaders, and am caffeine-free.

Prior to web work, I was an escaped Smurf, who ran away from my mushroom village to live my own life away from the blue collective. Yes, I had to paint myself flesh color to fit in. No, I don’t like mushrooms and never did.

At the age of 10, I invented a solar fusion generator that would power the world and end world hunger. Then I got distracted by something shiny and never finished it. I would invent the flying car, but being a masked luchador takes up too much of my spare time.

I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and slept outdoors while eating pork and beans. My necklace is made from the jagged teeth of sharks, wrested from their still-warm flesh as we fought, and my shoes from the skin of mighty crocodiles, whom I out-wrestled in their fetid swamps. My diminutive stature is a fatal surprise.

My arms are tiny, but I can lift a bus with one hand, and I have juggled Volkswagen Beetles for fun. A single potent drop of my blood can cure any known disease, and my eyes can scour your very soul.

I have written various things for various places around the internet over the years. You can find my other posts here.