Hitchcock Meets Bigfoot

Abominable

A few weeks ago, we saw a family-friendly bargain bin pick starring a similarly-friendly Bigfoot. Unfortunately, these are a rarity in B-movies, which mostly focus on the less-friendly – and downright mean – Missing Link. These are the kind of hostile Sasquatch which make the unfortunate Bigfoot in the “Jerking with Sasquatch” commercials look tame in comparison. At it’s core, “Abominable” is a title which works on two levels. First, it works because it’s a movie involving the Abominable Snowman, used interchangeably with Bigfoot. Secondly, it’s a clearly abominable movie because it tries to rip-off Alfred Hitchcock . . . with Bigfoot.

Liberally borrowing a page (or screenplay) from “Rear Window”, “Abominable” is the tale of wheelchair-bound mountain climber-turned-widower Preston (Matt McCoy), who is recovering from the same high-altitude scrape that also killed his wife. Sidelined both physically and emotionally, there’s nothing much for Preston to do but observe his mountain cabin surroundings via a pair of binoculars (you can see where “Rear Window” comes into play.) This would be considerably less creepy if there weren’t a bunch of buxom college girls hanging out next door, and Matt McCoy wasn’t a creepy middle-aged dude with a pair of binoculars . . . but that’s another story. Inevitably, Preston spots something strange moving in the wood, something which quickly escalates to stalking and hunting his supermodel neighbors one-by-one. After witnessing the beast strike with fatal results, Preston launches in a bit to convince his friend Otis (Christen Tinsley) and the girls about the beast which threatens them all . . . but oh yeah, the fact that he’s a creepy middle-aged dude with binoculars doesn’t help his case much.

This movie is simply good in a way only a terrible B-movie can be. A far cry from Jimmy Stewart, Matt McCoy’s facial reactions to Bigfoot on the hunt range from comical to downright abominable. This movie makes Bigfoot-related fatalities an art form onto itself. From a girl getting pulled through a tiny window to a Bigfoot chomping down on a guy’s head like it was a ripe watermelon, this flick is filled with more than a few great B-movie moments, despite a severe lack of logic . . . or legitimacy. Speaking of the latter, the film has B-movie legends like Jeffrey Combs (Reanimator) and Lance Henriksen (Aliens) in utterly disposable roles. Henriksen himself has been in more Bigfoot movies than amy right-minded person should. Maybe it’s in his contract to appear in at least one movie involving Sasquatch per decent movie. For whatever reason, this movie inexplicably confuses a handful of scenes with the only two good actors in the entire film with an hour and half of dull overacting.

Despite all the aforementioned problems, there are enough inspired scenes scattered amongst the blood, cheese and ham to put forth a reluctant (and low-priced) recommendation. Anyone looking for Hitchcock will be as disappointed as anyone looking for the emotional resonance of “Harry and the Hendersons”, but anyone looking for a movie to occupy a few friends armed with plenty of beer and sarcasm will be suitably amused.

For this express purpose you can buy “Abominable” for $12.99 at DeepDiscount.

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