Fatwallet and Dating

Minoritydan said:   From my dating experiences, I'd say 98% online dating, I treat the first meeting as just that, a meetup - not a date.

I'm not sure if I like you or are even interested in you. You could be a total snob, so I'm not interested in buying you dinner and drinks and being your ATM machine (though with some girls I'd be down for ATM). I'll meet either for a coffee and conversation, and if things go well we can head to a bar and grab drinks. If it gets to that point I don't mind grabbing you whatever I'm having.

I don't like to meet in bars for the first time because it always seems that the women expects the man to pay. Again, this is not a date, its a meetup. In the DC area though I've noticed the women always order wine or $14 a glass mixed drinks, which is fine if they are getting the tab on the first meetup.

If I meet at a bar, I make sure I arrive before them and get myself a beer with Cash (don't open a tab) and meet them when they get there. Often I'll get a text from the lady somethign to the effect of "I'm here, I'm at the bar. Come meet me" which appears to be Womanese for "Come pay for the drink that I just ordered, since by the time you get here the bartender will be handing me my drink and I'll be sure not to make a move for my wallet, I'll just sit here and let you pay, or I'll ask if you have a tab and then the bartender will throw it on yours when you say yes". So I never open a tab, pay with Cash, and only bring cash.

One time when the bill came I had a girl I tell me that she didn't "come prepared", meaning no wallet. Whatever, it was Total BS but now I say that sometimes myself. "I only have cash, I didn't bring any credit cards...only brought enough for my drinks since I wasnt planning to be out late..." (This is obviously if I can tell I won't be seeing her again. If I'm not going to see you again, I'm not picking up your tab).

This has been my experience about 90% of the time when going out in DC to meetup for the first time, so I really try to meet at coffee shops, but some of those damn asian hotties just wanna meet you out on K street and you gotta be ready for their crafty tricks.

If I like em and I think there is potential, I'll buy the first round or two, but that's only after I get a good feeling / first impression. Its not a given that the guy pays on the first meeting.

And I will never ever do Dinner on the first meetup / date / whatever you call it.

You approach dating very practically and logically. Nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating and especially emotions, the process is illogical.

Are you still single?

mysteryAgain said:   You approach dating very practically and logically. Nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, when it comes to dating and especially emotions, the process is illogical.

Are you still single?

The process should be relatively logical. You need to come up with a list of qualities you want/don't want in a partner and stick to them. For me, I don't want someone who's just going to get me to pay for her stuff. I went through a lot of online dates and ended up finding someone the old fashioned way, though I met a few girls who ended up very good friends in the process. My girlfriend never expected me to pay for anything and we've had a great relationship for almost two years. Sure, maybe most girls just want someone to pay for them, but if you stick to what you want, you can find someone who's not like that. In fact, my GF describes relationships as partly a business partnership - and any good long term relationship is exactly that. Do you want to be in business with someone who spends your money and provides nothing in return? Then why have a GF like that?

Minoritydan said:   You could be a total snob, so I'm not interested in buying you dinner and drinks and being your ATM machine (though with some girls I'd be down for ATM).

i see what you did there.

svr411 said:   You never go ATM! (unless your bank is reimbursing the fees)Is fees euphemism for medical costs incurred to treat pink eye or other fecal related illnesses?

So, since this is the finance forum, can I ask for some hard data pts? For example, if you spent $100 a date, did you get laid more than if you spent $75 or $30? Without anything concrete, we discuss until a FWF 3K member get laid on a first date. Will take awhile.

Let me just point this out: Spending or not spending isn't the way to go on any date. The point is for both parties to disarm themselves and have fun. If you do something and didn't enjoy it, you won't want to do it again...The way I always approach restaurants is to have a few options and clue the other person in so that she can be a part of the process. I always suggest three restaurants.

By including them in the decision making process, you're telling them that you value their insight. You're already scoring points even before the date begins. I can go on why it's beneficial, but you get the idea.

Girls, am I right?

I practice the theory of the human vortex (tm). This theory posits that if you're really good, girls will chase you. You will never have to chase them again.

But I'm also involved in a lot of things, like: classical guitarists, salsa dancing, cycling, running, swimming, wine tasting (always have at least 10-20 good bottles of wine at home), hiking, snowboarding, etc. And I travel a lot so that afford me with stories and ability to meet tons and tons of women.

cr3s said:   
Let me just point this out: Spending or not spending isn't the way to go on any date. The point is for both parties to disarm themselves and have fun. If you do something and didn't enjoy it, you won't want to do it again...The way I always approach restaurants is to have a few options and clue the other person in so that she can be a part of the process. I always suggest three restaurants.

By including them in the decision making process, you're telling them that you value their insight. You're already scoring points even before the date begins. I can go on why it's beneficial, but you get the idea.

Girls, am I right?

I practice the theory of the human vortex (tm). This theory posits that if you're really good, girls will chase you. You will never have to chase them again.

But I'm also involved in a lot of things, like: classical guitarists, salsa dancing, cycling, running, swimming, wine tasting (always have at least 10-20 good bottles of wine at home), hiking, snowboarding, etc. And I travel a lot so that afford me with stories and ability to meet tons and tons of women.
is this a personal ad or a forum post? seriously.

If you want to get laid for free, show up at a crowded bar an hour before it closes and just hit on chicks one by one starting from drunkest. "After party at my place?"

newbietx said:   And that is why to avoid all this dilemma I do all my first dates at Taco Bell!


Needless to say I have only had first dates!

Step three is not profit when your date is full of beans and poorly-digestible low grade beef.

Diamond60606 said:   Don't forget the follow up message to that one:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/32877362.html

This is precisely why we SHOULD NOT close the mental hospitals.

Uh...this as covered previously. What gender are you? There seemed to be a clear split between those who could and could not grasp the obvious sarcasm.

Here's my advice for successful dating:

1. Be Handsome..

2. Be Attractive..

3. Don't Be Unattractive.

(Taken from an SNL skit)

cr3s said:   So, since this is the finance forum, can I ask for some hard data pts? For example, if you spent $100 a date, did you get laid more than if you spent $75 or $30? Without anything concrete, we discuss until a FWF 3K member get laid on a first date. Will take awhile.

Well, here are a couple of fun posts on these topics from a chick.

What men and women are really saying...

Going dutch

Al3xK said:   cr3s said:   So, since this is the finance forum, can I ask for some hard data pts? For example, if you spent $100 a date, did you get laid more than if you spent $75 or $30? Without anything concrete, we discuss until a FWF 3K member get laid on a first date. Will take awhile.

From my experience I'd say it's a combination of several factors. Amount spent on a date, creativity of date, number of dates gone out, attractiveness of you, attractiveness of her, your personality, her personality, and maybe chemistry. I'll see if I can work up a formula...but this is surprisingly complex.

I've had a girlfriend for about two months who I took out last night to a mediocre restaurant (had never been there before, thought it would be good, I was wrong), took her to a couple small and unique things around town, went back to my house for a while (fill in the blanks). I was out of pocket about $40 for the entire date and she's been raving about how it was the best date she has ever been on (note: I think I've taken her on better). So, yeah, it's complex, different based on the girl and a game guys can never win.

diljs said:   So I have to say, this is one of the best and funniest threads of all time. I would love to hear more stories from single FWers about cheap, "successful" dates.

Apparently a mediocre restaurant, a ride on a ferry (in a city where it isn't a commonly used) and ice cream in an old cute part of town will get the job done. The problem is it's all local. The girl I was dating before this one would have tried to throw me off the ferry out of boredom.

diljs said:   So I have to say, this is one of the best and funniest threads of all time. I would love to hear more stories from single FWers about cheap, "successful" dates.
what do you mean "successful"? if uncommitted sex with an attractive woman is success, then the "FWF" way is to use available funds to best facilitate the objective...so get drunk together. almost no girl isnt a little bit easier when drunk, and food will only reduce the effects of the booze. done and done.

if "success" is acquiring a compatible woman for a relationship, then...shit, i dunno. no magic formula. i usually just resort to technique #1, lol.

i've always thought that super-creative and inventive dates are cool and all, but really, personality and looks will get somebody what they want 99% of the time. also, if you try really hard, or even appear to be trying really hard, girls might think they have the upper hand or that you are more interested than they are...and that's a bad position to be in. impress without even doing anything...be fit, be funny, be aloof, be passionate, be observant, be mysterious, be interesting...and be slightly unavailable/disinterested.