Sudden Death - How to hand off your financial life to your spouse/SO?

My wife and I got married a couple years ago, and I am in charge of the family finances. However, it occurred to me that as our finances become increasingly complex, my wife knows less and less about how it works. I'm sure this is a fairly common situation for the average FWF member, so I thought I'd start a thread to compile strategies for the "sudden death" scenario -- i.e. what happens if you suddenly die and your spouse or SO needs to know anything and everything about the finances.

For starters, the kinds of information I'd like to share are:
1. All accounts and the financial institutions in which they are held
2. Usernames and passwords for account management websites
3. Non-liquid assets and their locations
4. Insurance policies and expected payouts
5. Monthly bills and how to pay them

An additional consideration is that there may be some accounts or information that I don't want revealed unless the unexpected happens (for example, a corporate logon or a password to an individual account that hasn't been pre-shared).

How have you planned for this contingency, and are you confident that your "heir apparent" will be able to pick up the financial reins for you if you kick the bucket?

http://beingfrugal.net/your-financial-life-on-one-page-flop/

vegas4x4 said:   http://beingfrugal.net/your-financial-life-on-one-page-flop/
Not all of his advice is good. In particular, the idea to use the same ID for every possible website is questionable.

raringvt said:   I have verbally given my wife directions as to where she can find all important info. In addition, I have had discussions with the executor of my estate about assets and the location(s) of important documents. To answer your questions line by line:

1) I keep a monthly net worth spreadsheet that lists all assets & all liabilities.
2) I have created a password protected excel file that is saved on a password protected CD that is kept in our safe & a back up copy in a safe at my mother's house which lists all user id/passwords for online access.
3) She knows what assets we own.
4) This info is on my CD mentioned above.
5) She has login info to our bank accounts which have online bill pay set up for all accounts. The 1 or two bills paid via check are sent to us via mail.

What do you do when the password changes...often some website asks you to save the password after 90 days. You again burn a CD???

In my case, I have created a google doc which I share with her. Whenever, I update any password or add new website, I add to that google doc spreadsheet

Definitely a good idea. Hey, I feel dumb for not knowing this but:

A friend of mine has little caches of cash hidden around his house because, supposedly, years ago when his mother died unexpected all of her accounts were 'frozen' and his dad had some serious short-term money troubles and he doesn't that to happen to him. That doesn't make any sense to me but I've never had my spouse die on my unexpectedly. Even if you die without a will or post-mortem instructions, the bank's not going to immediately freeze your bank accounts, right?

DShaw94 said:   Even if you die without a will or post-mortem instructions, the bank's not going to immediately freeze your bank accounts, right?
Yes - if the accountholder dies, then by definition any subsequent transactions on that account would be unauthorized. The bank cant know if the person trying to access the account is entitled to, or if they're trying to drain it before the rightful heir gets to it. To help prevent this, designate a POD (Payable on Death) beneficiary on your individual accounts.

Technically, if you die, your wife should not have access to your financial accounts unless
- these are joint accounts
- your wife is a beneficiary in your will or executor of your estate

zULuGriD said:   raringvt said:   2) I have created a password protected excel file that is saved on a password protected CD that is kept in our safe & a back up copy in a safe at my mother's house which lists all user id/passwords for online access.

That sounds like a lot of work, which means your CD probably isn't kept up-to-date or doesn't have all your passwords in it, or you are re-using passwords all over the internet.

I recommend using something like LastPass. You only need to know your "master" password, and it magically saves/encrypts/stores all the unique usernames/passwords that you use all over the internet. My wife and I both use LastPass and since we know each other's master passwords we always have access to each other's online stuff.

This is what I do, except I use 1Password. I believe the concept is the same, there is a master password, and master file that is synced to a Dropbox account so it's available anywhere and updates whenever I change a password through my browser. I have a folder in 1Password that has all my bank/retirement/investment accounts so the wife will have access to everything, as well as just knowing where all our money is.

The other option is just to use the abc123 as your password for all your sites.

DShaw94 said:   . Even if you die without a will or post-mortem instructions, the bank's not going to immediately freeze your bank accounts, right?

If the accounts are jointly held, they should remain open..........

jugadek said:   raringvt said:   I have verbally given my wife directions as to where she can find all important info. In addition, I have had discussions with the executor of my estate about assets and the location(s) of important documents. To answer your questions line by line:

1) I keep a monthly net worth spreadsheet that lists all assets & all liabilities.
2) I have created a password protected excel file that is saved on a password protected CD that is kept in our safe & a back up copy in a safe at my mother's house which lists all user id/passwords for online access.
3) She knows what assets we own.
4) This info is on my CD mentioned above.
5) She has login info to our bank accounts which have online bill pay set up for all accounts. The 1 or two bills paid via check are sent to us via mail.

What do you do when the password changes...often some website asks you to save the password after 90 days. You again burn a CD???

In my case, I have created a google doc which I share with her. Whenever, I update any password or add new website, I add to that google doc spreadsheet

I really like this but trusting google with all your pwds in one place is too much of risk is my hesitation.

aleck said:   Technically, if you die, your wife should not have access to your financial accounts unless
- these are joint accounts
- your wife is a beneficiary in your will or executor of your estate

I see two kinds of concerns ..

One group is concerned if their spouse has access to the the individual accounts after a sudden death
Second group is concerned if their spouse can't have access to the individual accounts after a sudden death

tells something ha

A family friend died within the last year. He had all accounts in his name and took care of all their bills because his wife was irresponsible with the money. On his death, she had no money and had a very hard time getting by until she could finally get to the money. This prompted my mom to add both me and my brother to her bank account so we could get to her money if she was incapacitated or died unexpectedly. It was not a POD because her main concern was that she would be in a coma or something and we would need to access her money to pay her bills.

aleck said:   Technically, if you die, your wife should not have access to your financial accounts unless
- these are joint accounts
- your wife is a beneficiary in your will or executor of your estate

This is very true, so discussion of passwords post-mortum is irrelevant.

Instead, we need to take a few steps back and consider what your spouse needs to access in the event of a sudden illness or life-threatening injury.

1) Know who is your primary care physician who has your medical records.
2) A notarized advance health care directive.
3) Know where the last year's tax return is -- it is the simplest place which lists all accounts by name.
4) Know location of all real properties and, if applicable, who manages them.
5. Location of will and name of executor.

IMO anyone married should consider these things sooner rather than later. Makes one realize the value of keeping things simple, fincially. Personally, I choose to forgo sign-on bonuses because I don't want to deal with the logistics and tax mess of having dozens of small-time accounts.

You mentioned that you have life insurance, but not that you have a trusted financial advisor. I paid a 600k claim to a life client last year who is NOT financially savvy... but that's not his job. He's got me for that.

He will never have to worry again about whether he has a financial issue because of the death, as we've already replaced the wife's income and he will still live/retire on schedule.

You don't just need beneficiaries and trustees, you need a relationship with an advisor. They should be able to get you all the planning tools that you need anyway. Don't try to reinvent the wheel, steal good ideas from companies built around maintaining healthy finances after somebody passes away... ie life insurers. The best part is, most of these folks don't charge for their time, so you can access the tools for free.

Kanosh said:   
Instead, we need to take a few steps back and consider what your spouse needs to access in the event of a sudden illness or life-threatening injury.

1) Know who is your primary care physician who has your medical records.
2) A notarized advance health care directive.
3) Know where the last year's tax return is -- it is the simplest place which lists all accounts by name.
4) Know location of all real properties and, if applicable, who manages them.
5. Location of will and name of executor.

IMO anyone married should consider these things sooner rather than later. Makes one realize the value of keeping things simple, fincially. Personally, I choose to forgo sign-on bonuses because I don't want to deal with the logistics and tax mess of having dozens of small-time accounts.
For what it is worth, most states automatically give health care decisions to the spouse in the event you are incapacitated. It is unnecessary to have an advance health care directive for your spouse to make decisions on your behalf. On the other hand, it is probably a good idea to have one that names someone else in the event your spouse is unable to serve. And it is especially a good idea to get one if you have an unmarried partner whom you want to make decisions.
Also, you can always request a copy of your tax return from the IRS. If you are filing jointly then the surviving spouse could easily get a copy.

okwiater said:   An additional consideration is that there may be some accounts or information that I don't want revealed unless the unexpected happens (for example, a corporate logon or a password to an individual account that hasn't been pre-shared).

Make sure you know how to access the accounts or information that she doesn't want revealed unless the unexpected happens to her!

At age 51, my father went to work one day and just dropped dead. As this was decades ago, he had left my mother a LETTER, with instructions, including names and phone numbers of those she could and could NOT trust. This really struck me as those we would have thought we could have trusted ,turned out not to be so.!
The greatest gift my father left to his wife and 5 children was LIFE INSURANCE.

There were no P.C.s in those days, but I still think there is a lot to be said for leaving a PERSONAL LETTER.
Also ,NEVER assume that a "financial advisor" can be trusted 100%. This is not intended as a slam against financial adviserrs by any means. Never assume one can hand over one's money to anyone else. My family had considerable assets stolen from us by those one thought could have been trusted;hence, my father's letter.

Thinks I have been able to do:
1. Make all my accounts except one, a joint account
2. Add a POD benefactor to all my CDs and and to my savings account.
3. Added a beneficiary to my car title.
4. Added a second name to my condo 's contract

I was able to do all of the above either by just sending in a signed form or by filing up some online form, The only that I have not been able to do is add a POD benefactor to my BoA who insist that I come in, in person with my beneficiary to any local branch and fill up forms there. This is been a problem since my beneficiary is my sister who happens to live across the pond.

DShaw94 said:   Definitely a good idea. Hey, I feel dumb for not knowing this but:

A friend of mine has little caches of cash hidden around his house because, supposedly, years ago when his mother died unexpected all of her accounts were 'frozen' and his dad had some serious short-term money troubles and he doesn't that to happen to him. That doesn't make any sense to me but I've never had my spouse die on my unexpectedly. Even if you die without a will or post-mortem instructions, the bank's not going to immediately freeze your bank accounts, right?
I believe the bank can freeze your single-owner accounts in the event you die. I think social security publishes a list of dead SSNs that the banks and credit bureaus pick up pretty quick. Even with a will or POD accounts, the bank is still going to freeze the money and then it is up to you to come in and provide the relevant court probate documents, death certificate, etc.
However with joint accounts you can avoid these issues. My grandmother had to take care of her sister's estate after she died, and I was helping her tie up some loose ends. My grandmother was joint on her sister's checking account as she was helping pay some of the bills when her sister was alive. We actually went to the bank and asked what we needed to do, and the bank said my grandmother still had access because the account was joint. They did flag the account to show the sister had died (basically to prevent someone from claiming to be the dead sister from transacting on the account).

Sounds like a hassle to have so much wealth

I plan to go out like House did...that way I can still manage my finances after I die.