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suezyque said:   
You constantly ask for pics of the girls, now the guys. You have an MBA.......... in dance? Many think you are the reincarnation of Triple B. You want to marry an unemployed sick chick in Vegas so that you can take advantage of your HSA. It's true that you can be ANYONE on the internet.


You can even have your own hair salon!

.


Suzanne with customer
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ubermichaelthomas said:   suezyque said:   
You constantly ask for pics of the girls, now the guys. You have an MBA.......... in dance? Many think you are the reincarnation of Triple B. You want to marry an unemployed sick chick in Vegas so that you can take advantage of your HSA. It's true that you can be ANYONE on the internet.


You can even have your own hair salon!


Yes, you can.


me teaching class
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Nice Suzy!

FYI I don't have a degree in dance, mine is in business. Dance has been a hobby that in true FWF spirit has turned into a lucrative side job.

Now you two go PM each other!

Ohhh....super duper uber!

Mitsuko said:   Well, he's got 2 checking accounts, 1 savings, a Roth, a CC that he pays off every month, and rent/auto loan/auto ins that he gets drafted monthly. It's not rocket science, but not too obvious for him either.

So, he pays all those bills and you are getting bent out of shape over ~$5K of debt? From what I understand, none of the debt that he was "hiding" was new debt that he racked up after you talked about his finances, right? If that is true, what is the problem? From what you posted above, he isn't nearly are financially irresponsible as you indicated in your first post. I think the problem you have is that he isn't as serious about eliminating his relatively paltry debt as you are. He's obviously taking car of his financial obligations. Relax. I also find it interesting that some of you are saying she should end the relationship...over him "lying" about having $500 in debt.

dollarshort said:   ? From what I understand, none of the debt that he was "hiding" was new debt that he racked up after you talked about his finances, right? t.
You didn't read the whole thread

After they talked about his finances he opened a billmelater account he was hiding, and racked up late charges

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   dollarshort said:   ? From what I understand, none of the debt that he was "hiding" was new debt that he racked up after you talked about his finances, right? t.
You didn't read the whole thread

After they talked about his finances he opened a billmelater account he was hiding, and racked up late charges


Mitsuko said:   
Then yesterday, I found out about another $500 in debt at 20% APR that he has had for 2 years on BillMeLater.com.


You mean that? She says herself that debt was 2 years old. She even mentioned that he was not spending lavishly. It just seems to me that the OP is making a big deal out of a relatively small issue.

Mitsuko said:   SUCKISSTAPLES said:   Glitch99 said:   

his past while she's castrating him - its not like he's let her "fix" his debts then went out and secretly ran up new ones.

I read her posts completely different - that he did indeed rack up the "bill me later" debt and intentionally kept it a secret,AFTER they had the first issue about his debts

she signed him up for myfico and thought the problem was fixed , but her shock which led to this op was finding out he ran up this adiutonal debt and kept it hidden . At least that's how I read the timeline of events


This is correct. Thank you all. I don't have time to respond to every post, but I appreciate all of your comments (even the harsh ones). We both have thick skin and are able to take all of what you say into careful consideration without taking offense.


Please read this dollarshort...

tchen811 said:   Mitsuko said:   SUCKISSTAPLES said:   Glitch99 said:   

his past while she's castrating him - its not like he's let her "fix" his debts then went out and secretly ran up new ones.

I read her posts completely different - that he did indeed rack up the "bill me later" debt and intentionally kept it a secret,AFTER they had the first issue about his debts

she signed him up for myfico and thought the problem was fixed , but her shock which led to this op was finding out he ran up this adiutonal debt and kept it hidden . At least that's how I read the timeline of events


This is correct. Thank you all. I don't have time to respond to every post, but I appreciate all of your comments (even the harsh ones). We both have thick skin and are able to take all of what you say into careful consideration without taking offense.


Please read this dollarshort...


That completely contradicts what she said in her first post...

EDIT: Okay, I misunderstood. Still though, it is just $500. IMO, it's not that big of a deal.

No it doesn't , you just don't know how to read .

Her op is clear that 3 years ago he came into the relationship with $5k in debt , they got it paid off in six months . Then she discovered a few more debts .

This was all about 2 1/2 years ago. She thought everything was fixed

Now she just found out he opened the billmelater account two years ago , and is the cause of her current concern

Did we ever find out what her PhD is in?

Mitsuko has left the building

suezyque said:   A man needs to know that you admire him, respect him, support him, appreciate him, and can count on him. I don't see that here.

I am extrapolating here. OP has a Ph.D. The bf has a degree? OP sees herself as financially savvy. Her bf is, in her mind, a mess. OP is a rescuer and a fixer. Her bf is either a smart guy playing dumb or total retard. But OP wants to fix this guy like a home improvement project. I am confused here. Either bf is a GQ worthy in keeping around as a pet or the OP has her issues not sharing with us. Sometimes we see people who are in a self-induced mess as worthy of our sympathy and help when tough love should be the answer. Now I am losing my mind trying to decipher all these.

If anyone finds the OP's new match.com profile after breaking up with her BF due to this post, please post it. I want to see what she looks like.

Mitsuko said:   gloreglabert said:   I'd be less concerned about the debt (which can be fixed in a straightforward manner) and more concerned about the hiding of the debt (which can't). What else isn't he telling you?

I completely agree. We're together all the time, so I'm not too worried about him doing anything crazy behind my back. We live & work together, and he never goes out without me. However, the hiding of his debt has lead to serious trust issues in our relationship. I don't like that I have to monitor his finances like this. I think me watching over his decisions may have lead him to hiding things - like he's trying to rebel, in a sense. I don't know.


You're already on top of him 24/7 and yet he still can hide things. Dump the loser.

Are you his mom or girlfriend?

OP abandoned thread three days ago...

Since OP is not coming back, we can say anything!

OP was awakened to the truth & choose fear instead.

I'm shocked so many have focused on the relatively trivial amount of debt the boyfriend has hidden. That's not the point. If repeatedly lying/hiding dumb financial transactions is not a red flag prior to marriage, I don't know what is. OP's instincts are right, it's time to move on while still in her prime years.

Keyboard said:   I'm shocked so many have focused on the relatively trivial amount of debt the boyfriend has hidden. That's not the point. If repeatedly lying/hiding dumb financial transactions is not a red flag prior to marriage, I don't know what is. OP's instincts are right, it's time to move on while still in her prime years.

OP may have a difficult time finding a good man until now?

If the OP is a man and the problem child is a woman...would we give the same advice? Or something about the price you have to pay for free sex?

Yes, I would give the exact same advice to a guy. Gender is besides the point. The fact one's partner is repeatedly lying to cover up bad financial decisions (in spite of being monitored closely), should be a huge red flag for anyone!

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   Mitsuko has left the building

Excellent, lets start talkin some trash behind her back.

ellory said:   If OP had been a man posting about his gf, my guess is that the FWF reaction would be that he should dump her and move on. Instead, with OP being a woman, FWF is blaming her
that's ridiculous.

no reasonable poster would approve of this kind of meddling in someone else's finances. "FWF blaming her" is not illogical in any context - she is absolutely prying.

if you look past the random nonsense at the thoughtful replies in this thread, you will see a measured, intelligent analysis....and it's not sex-dependent.

letsspendlotsofmoney said:   solarUS said:   letsspendlotsofmoney said:   solarUS said:   letsspendlotsofmoney said:   My guess is OP is "average looking" or slightly overweight with some self esteem issue, but makes great dough... She has found her handsome boy toy and is willing to put up with his $hit rather than deal with rejection from other guys.

Because if the OP was smoking hot and a high income.... She would kick him to the curb and find a better looking high earner that knows how to manage his finances.

Smart hotchicks with a great job are few and far in between.... Photos? Prove us wrong OP......

way to ignore the interpersonal nuance and trust/boundary/solidarity issues and just make it about who's hot or not, rich or not.

ugh.



Spoken like a homely or fat chick.....

WOW your world is sad.

this mostly-male forum doesn't mean it's a locker room. if in your experience, all human interaction can be explained by 2 traits, then I feel sorry for you.

i'm male, young, 6'5" and jacked, actually...never neglected by females. i was raised by a really good one too, so maybe that's why you and I are different.

Her decision should be purely a business decision...

WHAT?? **IGNORE*

As has been speculated by some, the OP's physical attractiveness score may be downward sloping. Her BF's credit score, likewise, is on the wrong side of the curve.
He seems to accept her lower score, while she cannot deal with his. Not to mention, her gracefulness score is in need of dire repair.

The OP perhaps believes her BF has unfairly "scored" by landing her, who is a "better" prospect. Of course that is up for debate.

whodini said:   As has been speculated by some, the OP's physical attractiveness score may be downward sloping.

No disrespect to any females but a woman's physical attractiveness score is an accelerated depreciating asset. That's one reason I prefer men.

ubermichaelthomas said:   whodini said:   As has been speculated by some, the OP's physical attractiveness score may be downward sloping.

No disrespect to any females but a woman's physical attractiveness score is an accelerated depreciating asset. That's one reason I prefer men.


Yeah, cause men's looks NEVER depreciate!

suezyque said:   ubermichaelthomas said:   whodini said:   As has been speculated by some, the OP's physical attractiveness score may be downward sloping.

No disrespect to any females but a woman's physical attractiveness score is an accelerated depreciating asset. That's one reason I prefer men.


Yeah, cause men's looks NEVER depreciate!


As guys get older their earnings typically, not always, continue to rise. The bulge in the pocketbook is what helps them attract much younger newer models.... After the first divorce for most men, they do not want to be caught with a depreciating asset...

Driving classic old beauties... Only works with cars.... Not women.... Unless she comes with substantial assets...



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