Wedding Gift Suggestions For Sister Who Is Terrible At Personal Finance?

Hello all … my little sister is getting married, and I'm looking for a gift that will be appreciated/enjoyed, but will also help teach her the value of a dollar, how to save and budget, the value of savings and interest, etc. She makes OK money, but spends like a Kardashian, so is always in credit card debt, home equity line, etc. I have tried many times to help her with budgeting and personal finance, but it goes in one ear and out the other. (Most of the spending is on clothes, purses, iPhones, flat screen TVs, dining out, just wasteful stuff.)

I don't want to just give her cash and watch her buy some expensive outfit she will wear twice then throw in a closet. Or a 4th flat-screen TV. Or a new iPhone to replace her Galaxy III. Etc. Like I said, I want it to be instructive, but not "preachy" -- which is why I don't think a session with a financial planner will work (she'd look at it as homework, and it would go in one ear and out the other).

Some thoughts I had:

- A savings bond that won't mature for a while (but interest rates are terrible, and she'd probably cash it in ASAP instead of waiting 20 years).
- Purchase a CD (where I keep the principal) and give her the interest -- like a quarterly reminder that savings are good because they produce tangible benefits. (Say, a $5,000 CD that gives her $100 a year in interest for 5 years.)
- Donation to a 529 college savings plan, but a little odd since there are no kids yet.
- Maybe some sort of investment (like LED bulbs, but on a larger scale) that will save her money in the future. I don't think she needs any new major appliances that I know of, though, and solar panels are probably outside my budget.

I want to give her something nice, maybe in the $500 range or so, but am flexible for a great idea that costs more. I am hoping some of the great minds at FW have some good ideas that could help prod my sister towards a better financial path for the future. Basically, I don't want to give her a fish, I want to teach her how to fish, if that makes sense.

Thank you in advance for any helpful advice!

Membership to FWF.

A dissimilar spouse

pics of your sister?

I don't think a wedding gift is the best place to try to teach her financial sense. If you don't want to give her money and don't want to give her something thoughtful, just get her something from the registry list.

Have Bubble King paint up a pink Crown Vic.

Toaster

Sister is old enough to get married, shes old enough to learn it the hard way, through the school of hard knocks.

Books:

Millionaire Next Door
Rich Dad, poor Dad
Rich Bitch, Poor Bitch

pietromoon said:   A dissimilar spouse

Sadly, he is exactly the same way (already has a bankruptcy). So I fear they are headed down a difficult path and I am trying -- in a non-preachy or obnoxious way -- to help steer them toward a less stressful future.

I know it is a tough balance to come up with something generous and helpful and appreciated and enjoyable … but that also helps them financially in the long term (that's why I ruled out a session with a financial advisor or books on personal finance they won't read). That's why I'm soliciting advice from FWF and not just picking out a cool gift or writing them a check and being done with it.

A coinbelt loaded with nickels and the "Pillars of Investing" book.

These spenders are like drug addicts. You can't help them help themselves. They have to want to change. I like the 529 college savings thing. It probably won't be appreciated for a good 18+ years though.

What do you think max? It's got 3 speeds!

tajar96 said:   How about you matching some money every month that she sets aside. For example, if she contributes $50, you do $50 (or some multiplier). She has to contribute (save) for atleast x months and you will match upto y limit for so many months. In the end, if she doesn't touch her contributions at all then you would add a little bit of bonus. She could just give the money to you every month or you could have your parents hold it or you open a joint investment account somewhere. You can get as crazy as you want.

If she is getting married, she would need a reality check so school of life is not a bad option though she is your little sister and there is an emotional component.

Good Luck!

Thanks for the thought-provoking and out-of-the-box suggestion. It could be a way to encourage her to save (since interest rates suck, I could artificially goose her return and double her money in 2 years or whatever).

Or something like a CD at the Bank of Big Brother (please do not add this to the CD rate thread, the FW effect will ruin it!) where I pay her 10%, but she can't touch the money for X years or whatever. I'll have to percolate on this for a bit.

I know you can lead a horse to water and all that. And I also know throwing money at the problem only makes it worse (my parents tried this approach). So I'm trying to think of a way to improve their future life together, not just buy them one more TV that won't really help them. Perhaps changing their ways is impossible, but at least I want to do something that will make a meaningful impact on their future.

Make sure the girl you marry is more like you than your sister

Lotto tickets

If she's not hitting you up for money, her spending habits are really none of your business. Getting a finance-related gift seems preachy to you because it is preachy.

Coffee maker.

Sisters are pretty good at picking up on passive aggressive "gestures." Her wedding is not the platform for an insulting gift. If you want to do something preachy in a year or so like a matching retirement account, feel free, but weddings are already fraught with stress and family drama. Don't add to it with an obnoxious "not-really-present" when people are already emotional and stressed. Get her something genuinely nice that will make her happy, even if you think it's stupid. The gift should have no strings attached. The "gift" you are planning right now is inappropriate, intrusive and mean-spirited, despite the supposedly "good" intentions (of demonstrating your financial superiority....)

bullcity said:   

The "gift" you are planning right now is inappropriate, intrusive and mean-spirited, despite the supposedly "good" intentions (of demonstrating your financial superiority....)
Well said

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   bullcity said:   

The "gift" you are planning right now is inappropriate, intrusive and mean-spirited, despite the supposedly "good" intentions (of demonstrating your financial superiority....)
Well said

That's because I myself am a preachy older sibling. But it turns out that my little siblings are more likely to ASK me for my advice if I treat them like capable, independent adults. And even if they didn't, it's more important to me to have a friendship with my siblings than it is to me that my sister have a good relationship with her landlord or my brother avoid paying fees on international transactions.

Wedding gifts I still use frequently:
Kitchen trash can (use it every day)
Plates/silverware/glasses
TiVo (am on my second one now, but used the first one a lot)