Help - I'm in a panic :(

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lindylady said:   Dude chillax. Most likely it will be cleared automatically by monday. If not on monday you call your bank and clarify and they fix the error you will worst case be out 15 minutes of hold music. Freaking out is counterproductive. Relax dude is generic. Relax this is just a paperwork issue, focus on the big picture.
p.s. I'm also a woman being generically called dude is just a figure of speech and when you freak about about gender when gender is not the issue you make all women look bad.


Right on, fella.

Did you remember to fill your prescription for Prozac?
Remember your shrink said you must take it on regular basis!

lindylady said:   p.s. I'm also a woman being generically called dude is just a figure of speech and when you freak about about gender when gender is not the issue you make all women look bad.Pics? To see whether or not you "look bad."

For A LOW PRICE OF 1000 USD$, I can help you with this case and FREE your 6000$ from your old card IMMEDIATELY so that you do not need to be in this SERIOUS DOUBLE DEBT. If you are interested, please send me a CHECK (from your credit card provider is fine as well) and when it clears my account I will instantly take care of your problem.

mistycoupon said:   frogmom said:   Thanks I'm not a dude thoughdudette ?
lindylady said:   Dude chillax... ...Relax dude is generic...
p.s. I'm also a woman being generically called dude is just a figure of speech and when you freak about about gender when gender is not the issue you make all women look bad.
lindylady,

Why does one woman, in a group of *ONLY* women, now always / ?usually? say "Hey Guys, let's try the new restaurant in..." instead of "Hey Gals, let's..."?

I'm certain that I remember DECADES AGO terms like "Guys Night Out" and "Gals Night Out"; maybe even "Hey Gals...".

Thanks from a confused "Old Fart" / Dude / Bro / Homie / etc...

TakeTheActive said:   mistycoupon said:   frogmom said:   Thanks I'm not a dude thoughdudette ?
lindylady said:   Dude chillax... ...Relax dude is generic...
p.s. I'm also a woman being generically called dude is just a figure of speech and when you freak about about gender when gender is not the issue you make all women look bad.
lindylady,

Why does one woman, in a group of *ONLY* women, now always / ?usually? say "Hey Guys, let's try the new restaurant in..." instead of "Hey Gals, let's..."?

I'm certain that I remember DECADES AGO terms like "Guys Night Out" and "Gals Night Out"; maybe even "Hey Gals...".

Thanks from a confused "Old Fart" / Dude / Bro / Homie / etc...
Gender-neutral "Hey you guys" has been around 30+ years

This whole thread sounds like a case for Fargo North, Decoder.

mewhojen said:   Gender-neutral "Hey you guys" has been around 30+ yearsOne YouTube 'Non-Gender Specific' video from 'The Electric Company' doesn't prove anything.

I was hoping to hear from *CURRENT* FW Female Members...

TakeTheActive said:   mewhojen said:   Gender-neutral "Hey you guys" has been around 30+ yearsOne YouTube 'Non-Gender Specific' video from 'The Electric Company' doesn't prove anything.

I was hoping to hear from *CURRENT* FW Female Members...


I am a female, and I say "guys" regularly to other women. In fact, it sounds downright weird to me when people call us "gals" (gag!) though I can't put my finger on why. The closest reasonable explanation I can muster is that it sounds somehow sexist, by drawing attention to the distinction between the genders.

I've recently had this conversation with a new boss at work (I work in a small sub-team of women). New (male) boss talks to us and starts by saying, "OK, guys..." then stops himself, and corrects to say "Sorry, I mean, gals...". It's irritating, a little patronizing (thinking we will be offended if we don't use a special gender-specific word), and gives the impression that he's focusing on gender, when nobody wants that in the workplace (let's focus on work, not gender, please!) I think it can also sound (unintentionally) like you're putting women down, again, because you're making a point of distinguishing between groups based on gender.

And, honestly, it probably just sounds weird because "gals" is so rarely used (I *never* use the term myself, EVER). Maybe the problem is "gals" sounds SO darn feminine (nobody would ever call a mixed group "gals"), whereas guys already sounds fairly neutral to most people? So, again, it FEELS like a big distinction is being made, especially when someone stops to correct themselves (imagine if someone said, "OK, folks... oh, sorry, I meant GALS" - it's weird, no?)

I do think it's a little weird that it's only gender-neutral in SOME circumstances. Singular is still very much male, I would never say, "I talked to this guy last night" when I talked to a female. And, usually it's used when you are actually talking to the "guys" in question, but I think it could remain neutral in some other cases as well, for example, if I had worked with a group of women, then moved to another group, I could imagine saying, "well THOSE GUYS (past group) think this is a bunch of baloney!"

I don't know if that helps at all, but the boss calling us "gals" irked me enough that I stopped him and told him it was unnecessary.

OP: Did everything post o.k.?

Eh, missed that this wasn't posted today, but rather last week.

My bad.

brainpain said:   TakeTheActive said:   mewhojen said:   Gender-neutral "Hey you guys" has been around 30+ yearsOne YouTube 'Non-Gender Specific' video from 'The Electric Company' doesn't prove anything.

I was hoping to hear from *CURRENT* FW Female Members...


I am a female, and I say "guys" regularly to other women. In fact, it sounds downright weird to me when people call us "gals" (gag!) though I can't put my finger on why. The closest reasonable explanation I can muster is that it sounds somehow sexist, by drawing attention to the distinction between the genders.

I've recently had this conversation with a new boss at work (I work in a small sub-team of women). New (male) boss talks to us and starts by saying, "OK, guys..." then stops himself, and corrects to say "Sorry, I mean, gals...". It's irritating, a little patronizing (thinking we will be offended if we don't use a special gender-specific word), and gives the impression that he's focusing on gender, when nobody wants that in the workplace (let's focus on work, not gender, please!) I think it can also sound (unintentionally) like you're putting women down, again, because you're making a point of distinguishing between groups based on gender.

And, honestly, it probably just sounds weird because "gals" is so rarely used (I *never* use the term myself, EVER). Maybe the problem is "gals" sounds SO darn feminine (nobody would ever call a mixed group "gals"), whereas guys already sounds fairly neutral to most people? So, again, it FEELS like a big distinction is being made, especially when someone stops to correct themselves (imagine if someone said, "OK, folks... oh, sorry, I meant GALS" - it's weird, no?)

I do think it's a little weird that it's only gender-neutral in SOME circumstances. Singular is still very much male, I would never say, "I talked to this guy last night" when I talked to a female. And, usually it's used when you are actually talking to the "guys" in question, but I think it could remain neutral in some other cases as well, for example, if I had worked with a group of women, then moved to another group, I could imagine saying, "well THOSE GUYS (past group) think this is a bunch of baloney!"

I don't know if that helps at all, but the boss calling us "gals" irked me enough that I stopped him and told him it was unnecessary.


Just use people and person. I had a similar comment from my management at work where I estimated time in MW (men weeks) but this other male co-worker estimated in PW (person weeks). Everyone still continued to use MW though. I think it is just too ingrained in society for the male rference to sometimes both refer to male & female, but the female reference to only refer to female and somehow is 'negative'. Some would say that is an inequality in itself - that we've been brainwashed to think this way.

I have a mixed group of friends I can not think of an event in the last year that only women were invited to. Even baby showers have been coed. So I would never call it a girls night out because then what about some of my guy friends that are joining us.Even my guy friends really never do guys night out they may have a night out without their wives but still including their female friends.
So basically gals never gets used because it is specific to only women buy guys can be all men, some men some women, all women. Thus it excludes less.

Thank you FW Ladies for your input. I appreciate the insight.

I guess, with me at least, it must be a 'Generation Thing'.

As I currently understand it:
  • Men vs Women = OK
  • Boys vs Girls = OK
  • Guys vs Gals = NG


BTW, when I refer to a mixed gender / coed group, I use 'Folks' instead of 'People'...

TakeTheActive said:   Thank you FW Ladies for your input. I appreciate the insight.

I guess, with me at least, it must be a 'Generation Thing'.

As I currently understand it:
Men vs Women = OK
Boys vs Girls = OK
Guys vs Gals = NGBTW, when I refer to a mixed gender / coed group, I use 'Folks' instead of 'People'...

Believe it or not, many see the word "folks" as a pejorative. It's sort of like hillbillies or ignorant people. You'll notice it in the context of political speeches if you watch. It's a way to slight others while pretending you are friendly. Maybe I notice these things because I'm not "folksy".



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