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Keep it simple...go hiking on the Argentine section of the Appalachian Trail!

@lousygolfer... Tell your wife you want some sort of midlife crisis reward....

Reminds me of CYE LD... Where his wife allows him a one time affair, if he's capable of.... What can I say I'm a fan.

Why not get a 3 year old 5-series, A6, E-class, M45, GS4XX, ect. That way you only spend $35-40K, can still take the family on vacation/ out to dinner with it but it will still handle and go faster than 95% of the cars on the road.

kinggofg said:    "Honey I need, NEED to spend $80k on a german sportscar", but I do not. We have 3 kids and wife is hell bent on saving money for college for the little ones.
I have 6 months. Taking on debt is not really an option. I feel like I can probably squirrel away $1000 a month, but I'm not sure that will be enought to fulfil my need.


I've been having a mid-life crisis for the last 20 years.
First question: Do you need the German model or do you need the sports car? If you want the sports car performance, go buy a C5 Corvette Z06 (<$25k for mint) or a C6 Z06 (<$40k). Both cars will meet or beat a $80k Porsche in most circumstances. And trust me, 405 HP is enough. 505 is more than enough.

Advice:
Whatever you do don't buy a new one, doesn't matter what make/model/price. Buying used, you can walk away with minimal sting.
Consider renting one for a day or two to test your mid-life crisis fantasy. Be sure you've got your poison narrowed down first...

How about doing something family oriented? Learn to fly... etc.

OMG, just buy a cheap Crown Vic, Take it somewhere and RACE THE CRAP OUT OF IT UNTIL THE ENGINE EXPLODES.
then go somewhere have a beer, and be glad you didn't do that to your 'Daily Driver'

Much cheaper than my 'midlife' crisis. I picked up a 25k Chevy...found out it was a lemon, and traded it in for $19k

I'm down with the Crown Vic, but a performance car it is not...

Crazytree said:   I had my mid-life crisis at 30.

you plan to die at 60 too?

jkimcpa said:   I started a betterment account for this exact reason a few years back. Expect a thread from me in a decade..."my mid-life crisis account is at $1XX,000 what should I blow my money on?"

i have a vegas fund. it's kind of like a mid-life crisis account.

When the new sports car feeling wears off, you're going to feel empty inside and have a big debt.

Get a project: Build a mancave, supe up a car, start a business, garden, learn a new skill.

I rented a car a week in December which was my birthday present to myself from Relay Rides. I got a 3 series, Camaro, an Audi and a pickup. I believe they have monthly rentals which could fill the need you may have.

Supercharge/Turbocharge your car for 5k and call it a day. What do you drive right now? If you have enough money to spend 80K, I'm guessing you currently drive a 30+k car so the internals should be able to handle it. If you are mechanically inclined, you could save some money in the process and have a project on your hands to keep busy.

Check your downside OP. You hide money. She finds out, but doesn't tell you. She assumes you are having an affair. She has one to get even. This isn't totally far fetched as it sounds like trust and communication are not a major priority for your relationship.

Was that really more fun than just asking her for a special small account?

Get a Rolex if you don't have one. You should be able to find a slightly used/almost new submariner 16610LN or submariner (no date) for around this price. Good thing, stainless steel sports Rolexes don't lose too much value. In 10 years it might double in value. (This certainly happened in last 10 years).

Have you thought about buying a classic that needs a little work? Ive seen running 60's era Mustangs, Camaros,etc. going for the type of money you have now, and you could take your time to have a really cool toy over the next few years.

Nobody mentioned "hookers and blow" yet? Really?

parmenides said:   For my mid-life crisis (43 yo now) I decided to grow up and not have one. Saved a bunch of money that way, and my wife appreciates my honesty so much that she continues to sleep with me on a regular basis.

I wish I could have given you more greens than just one!

Maybe look into taking over someone's lease on leasetrader.com or swapalease.com. Your wife will be more open to it if she thinks it's just for a specified period of time - especially if you've saved most of it already upfront. You can plan to buy the car at lease-end, but will have the whole lease-term to figure out how to pay for it and how to get your wife on board.

Well..I know I can hide "6k" easily, if I give my SO "60k" first. But the math hurts my stomach...

Here was my midlife crisis purchase

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/fwfinance/654E23DE-2A8B-4A17-B2C0-D0649E3FDE64-9959-00000D3C16B300F7.jpg

It's a fake , based on a fiero . Cost under $10k and gives all the top down enjoyment with none of the repair costs of a real one

markkundinger said:   realistically, how smart are the kids? maybe you don't need a college fund.

+1. unless your kids are extremely smart and willing to study a meaningful subject, there is no point in sending them to a 80k/yr (by the time your kids are college age) school. even for those cases, there is a good argument to be made for state schools. (easier GPA, better odds for grad school.) make them pay for the state school themselves.

+1 to renting supercar idea. probably more fun and less risk. (repairs on 80k sports car ...)

also i suggest you try to discuss these issues openly with your wife rather than feel like you need to hide. she has to be willing to compromise to meet your needs. if not you should save time/money and get divorced now.

Nice fake SiS

An E36 M3 can be had for around that price. It may need a little work, but that's part of the fun. (ask me how I know, twice)

I am going out to a party. Honey should i dress a black or red dress?

beatme said:   Maybe she won't let you drop $80k on a car, but would spending $6k on a trip somewhere cool be ok?
Get three close guy friends together, each put in $5k, and you now have $20k to spend on a really awesome experience (and you came in under budget!).


Good advice. A buddy going through his own crisis invited me to Costa Rica for a surfing "mancation". It sounds really douchy. Especially calling it a "mancation", but the wife OKed it. So am I doing that (and spending some frequent flyer miles so its free).

Unfortunately this is not going to get it out of my system. Also, To be honest, its sappy but I would rather go on a big trip with the wife than the guys. My wife knows this and its I sure why she oked the trip.

markkundinger said:   realistically, how smart are the kids? maybe you don't need a college fund.

Ha! When I turn 60 I will certainly raid thier 529s. Till then should probably save as I don't want to work anymore once they leave the house.

I wish I had the kind of relationship where I could say, "Honey I need, NEED to spend $80k on a german sportscar", but I do not. We have 3 kids and wife is hell bent on saving money for college for the little ones.

Can you at least say, "Honey, I really want to do or buy something fun, exciting, daring, new, and different for my 40th birthday. I know that we've been diligently saving money for our kids' education, but I also think we should spend a little on ourselves from time to time. Let me show you how I've figured out that I could spend x on my 40th and you could spend x on your 40th, while still meeting our expectations with the college fund. However, the one thing I would ask is if I could decide by myself how to spend my half of our '40th blowout fund', and you could decide all on your own how to spend yours (as long as neither of us do anything illegal, or harmful to the family, of course!)"

Ask yourself whether you want to buy something that you will own and use over time, or just have a short-term experience with. Is it something you want to share with the family, or have all to yourself? Do you want to blow through some money with a free conscience, or spend money in an enjoyable way while trying to make an "investment" with it? Is it something you want your friends or wife or whole family to join in on, or to experience by yourself? Do you want to go off and temporarily renew the feeling that you are only responsible for yourself and are entirely without ties, or does that component of some midlife crises not bother you?

I would totally understand if my partner/husband said he wanted to spend a large-ish sum of money on himself, for such an occasion. As long as we agreed I could do the same for my own occasion.

When we were together in a "serious" relationship and living together, an ex-boyfriend of mine told me for his 30th that he wanted to go to one of the less-visited South American countries for a month, and see some people he used to know in college, and hike around in a huge and remote landscape, and bum around. That was fine with me. We had no contact while he was gone. When he came back, I let him tell me what he wanted to tell me (probably a couple of hours of conversation during his first week back). Of course, I asked questions and I showed interest, but I didn't pry into any topic that he didn't mention. He showed me some photos of a few mountains and bodies of water. He had hiked and camped for a week in primitive conditions with a man and woman he'd just met, but he told me a few things and that was it. A lot happens in a month, but I was fine with not knowing. It was his experience. I would've felt the same if we'd been married.
He also spent a LOT of time and money on a kind of extreme sport that involved specialist equipment and clothing plus being away from home quite a bit, and also regular training sessions week-in, week-out, which I was also totally fine with. But I'm probably not typical. (And maybe if I had been a little bossy, slightly suspicious, slightly manipulative, and slightly jealous of his time and attention, he would've felt more penned-in but also more inclined to make a longer-term commitment to me, I don't know.)

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   Agree with renting super cars in Vegas .
Owning an exotic car isn't fun, its a maintenance hassle

If you are determined to own , get something like the new CLA Mercedes that's $29900. Your wife will probably drive it more than you


I think renting a "super car" is a good idea, I have driven fast cars, but never an exotic. In my 20s a buddy and I rented a Mercedes CLK in Germany and had that thing going 260kmph. Great memory, but recless and very scary.

The maintenance thing does scare me. A $6000 car especially one thats desireable it likely to fall apart.

NantucketSunrise said:   
Ask yourself whether you want to buy something that you will own and use over time, or just have a short-term experience with. Is it something you want to share with the family, or have all to yourself? Do you want to blow through some money with a free conscience, or spend money in an enjoyable way while trying to make an "investment" with it? Is it something you want your friends or wife or whole family to join in on, or to experience by yourself? Do you want to go off and temporarily renew the feeling that you are only responsible for yourself and are entirely without ties, or does that component of some midlife crises not bother you?


Good post. made me think. Its hard to describe the "need". Its certainly not about an investment. Its not about an experience. I think its about having something that you can go look at whenever you want and think "badass!". Its about having something that mine, not rational or responsible, not for the family, for me. Its about being able to escepe at any time by taking a ride in something that isn't a minivan or an SUV (I had a nice car for about 6 moths until we found out we were having twins and we traded it for a Minivan). Its about reliving my memories of my MG midget I had in high school and how it made me feel. Its about being an American and loving our cars.

jaytrader said:   An E36 M3 can be had for around that price. It may need a little work, but that's part of the fun. (ask me how I know, twice)

Maybe a project is a good idea. But I have a tendancy to start projects and not finish them. If I have a car on blocks in the front yard I will have angry neighbors to deal with in addition to an angry wife.

Question, can an M3 really be worked on my a novice mechanic? Any advice on what to look for? Should I get a beater that needs work? Maybe travel out to california (to avoid rust) and drive it home to Chicago?

king0fSpades said:   Get a Rolex if you don't have one. You should be able to find a slightly used/almost new submariner 16610LN or submariner (no date) for around this price. Good thing, stainless steel sports Rolexes don't lose too much value. In 10 years it might double in value. (This certainly happened in last 10 years).

My wife bought me a rolex as an engagement present. I lost it in a hotel room. Its amazing that I am still married.

hebron1427 said:   jkimcpa said:   I started a betterment account for this exact reason a few years back. Expect a thread from me in a decade..."my mid-life crisis account is at $1XX,000 what should I blow my money on?"

i have a vegas fund. it's kind of like a mid-life crisis account.


I have no time machine so its too late for me. Do you really think you can keep such an account secret? Can you really not touch all that money for 10 years? Seriously though I wish someone had told me at 30 that I needed some savings for 40.

kinggofg said:   

Its about being able to escepe at any time by taking a ride in something that isn't a minivan or an SUV (I had a nice car for about 6 moths until we found out we were having twins and we traded it for a Minivan). Its about reliving my memories of my MG midget I had in high school and how it made me feel. Its about being an American and loving our cars.

Seems the real issue is you gave up the car you loved to get the minivan . Lots of guys do this, I can't understand it. They spend their 40s 50s and 60s trying to relive their youth and its just not the same . Those cool sporty cars we remember become uncomfortable , hard to get in and out , and generally undesirable when older

Do something completely different

motuwallet said:   
also i suggest you try to discuss these issues openly with your wife rather than feel like you need to hide. she has to be willing to compromise to meet your needs. if not you should save time/money and get divorced now.


I have discussed openly. She said no.

Things that might lead to divorce:
1. Affairs
2. Drug use
3. Stealing, i.e. taking money thats not mine (including going into debt or taking money from a joint account withou her permission)

If I save money and then spend it I would be ok. The most I can save over the next 6 months is $6000.

H&B are obvioulsy out. To those suggesting this I reccomend getting it out of your system before getting married.

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   

Seems the real issue is you gave up the car you loved to get the minivan . Lots of guys do this, I can't understand it. They spend their 40s 50s and 60s trying to relive their youth and its just not the same . Those cool sporty cars we remember become uncomfortable , hard to get in and out , and generally undesirable when older

Do something completely different


I think we are on to something here. But I am thinking its slightly different. We spend our 20s and 30s wishing we had the money to spend on a cool sporty car. Then when we are 40 and could afrord it we feel like its irresponsible. Just can't win.

Maybe I will start saving now for the next 10 years and when my son turns 16 I will buy him a hot car.

You have to find a way to overcome this temporary feeling to waste big money. Master your desires or they will master you. Remember, you have 3 kids who are dependent on you. One bad move and the comfortable nest you've built will be no more.

SUCKISSTAPLES said:   Here was my midlife crisis purchase

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v644/fwfinance/654E23DE-2A8B-4...

It's a fake , based on a fiero . Cost under $10k and gives all the top down enjoyment with none of the repair costs of a real one


Great now I want a ferrari...

kinggofg said:   jaytrader said:   An E36 M3 can be had for around that price. It may need a little work, but that's part of the fun. (ask me how I know, twice)

Maybe a project is a good idea. But I have a tendancy to start projects and not finish them. If I have a car on blocks in the front yard I will have angry neighbors to deal with in addition to an angry wife.

Question, can an M3 really be worked on my a novice mechanic? Any advice on what to look for? Should I get a beater that needs work? Maybe travel out to california (to avoid rust) and drive it home to Chicago?


My first one, a 95 M3 (OBD I; easiest to work on IMO) was from NY, and had no rust. My second was a 98 which I found after months of searching, and was in mint condition. Unfortunately something bad happened and she is no longer with us.

Either way, something around 100-125k can be had for $5-8k. Anything over 125k miles is suspect. Main things to watch out for are subframe mounts/damage and RTAB pocket damage/tearing. Oh, and the cooling system should be replaced or at least get rid of the clutch fan and install a SPAL (electric) fan. Other than that, they're solid and can be driven to hell and back. They're fun as hell to mod, and with only a few grand, you can buy a $5000 "beater" and turn it into a performance machine which includes all new suspension (OE or aftermarket, your decision) and a new clutch and all new maintenance items such as RTABs, FCABs, engine and transmission mounts, belts, oil change, brake pads, etc.

It's fun to work on E36s too. There is a small learning curve but they are much more basic than today's German cars. Grab an ODB I (1995) if you can, as they only have one O2 sensor (versus 4 in OBD II cars) and less of a pain, emissions wise. Obviously, I could go on for days about this. However, the above is a good jist of what to watch out for, other than the usual such as body panel gaps, bald tires, "bodywork," and a bad CarFAX.

jaytrader said:   
My first one, a 95 M3 (OBD I; easiest to work on IMO) was from NY, and had no rust. My second was a 98 which I found after months of searching, and was in mint condition. Unfortunately something bad happened and she is no longer with us.

Either way, something around 100-125k can be had for $5-8k. Anything over 125k miles is suspect. Main things to watch out for are subframe mounts/damage and RTAB pocket damage/tearing. Oh, and the cooling system should be replaced or at least get rid of the clutch fan and install a SPAL (electric) fan. Other than that, they're solid and can be driven to hell and back. They're fun as hell to mod, and with only a few grand, you can buy a $5000 "beater" and turn it into a performance machine which includes all new suspension (OE or aftermarket, your decision) and a new clutch and all new maintenance items such as RTABs, FCABs, engine and transmission mounts, belts, oil change, brake pads, etc.

It's fun to work on E36s too. There is a small learning curve but they are much more basic than today's German cars. Grab an ODB I (1995) if you can, as they only have one O2 sensor (versus 4 in OBD II cars) and less of a pain, emissions wise. Obviously, I could go on for days about this. However, the above is a good jist of what to watch out for, other than the usual such as body panel gaps, bald tires, "bodywork," and a bad CarFAX.


Any reason not to get a convertible E36? I think the E30s look better, any reason not to go for one of those (besides being older). I'm liking this idea. Driving an old BMW would feel good, could work on it with my son too, would be good for bonding.

I see a lot of vacation ideas suggested. I could foresee it wasn't going to satisfy Op's "Need".

As far as the car route goes, would you be buying something as a frequent daily driver, or something to drive on the weekends? In other words, I'm asking do you REALLY need something as reliable as you think?

If this would be a car you drive daily, you could get something at a low interest rate of 2% or less. You need to get to work anyways, why not do it in something you enjoy (In the $20,000 - $40,000 range). That's what loans are for. - Paying a little extra to get something now. * Depending on your location a Motorcycle could be a nice addition to your current vehicles as you would really be getting it to save gas.

As far as a car just to satisfy your need, So what if it falls apart? At least you can get it now. And if you do your research you can minimize the risk of that happening (Consumer ratings / reliability / required maintenance) In 2002 or 2003 I bought a 91 240sx with 110,000 miles for $2000. The car was owned by a dental student. I gave the car hell and it never missed a beat. Only reason I sold it was because it wasn't worthwhile to fix the mainly cosmetic damage done to the front end in my second accident. If I remember correctly I sold the car with damage for $2800 at 130,000 miles. Now I doubt this would not be the car for you, and I doubt the Miata suggested by the other person would do it. The point is, don't be afraid to take a mitigated risk. All cars drop greatly in value once 5-10 years old and 120,000 + Miles because we all know they don't last forever. The thing is no one knows the exact expiration date. Could be 150,000 miles. Could be 200,000. There's a vast majority of cars you can find for $5000-$15,000 that may have plenty of life left.

If you can't take a risk during mid-life crisis, when can you?


By the way, I like the ideas of a Race Car experience / luxury car rental. But I have doubts that something this short-term is going to satisfy Op for long. OP, I feel you need to re-evaluate your vehicle needs. Hopefully the various viewpoints here have toned down the $80,000 sports car need.


*I'm actually very interest adverse, but slowly saving money for a mid-life crisis in this interest rate environment just seems needless.

kinggofg said:   jaytrader said:   
My first one, a 95 M3 (OBD I; easiest to work on IMO) was from NY, and had no rust. My second was a 98 which I found after months of searching, and was in mint condition. Unfortunately something bad happened and she is no longer with us.

Either way, something around 100-125k can be had for $5-8k. Anything over 125k miles is suspect. Main things to watch out for are subframe mounts/damage and RTAB pocket damage/tearing. Oh, and the cooling system should be replaced or at least get rid of the clutch fan and install a SPAL (electric) fan. Other than that, they're solid and can be driven to hell and back. They're fun as hell to mod, and with only a few grand, you can buy a $5000 "beater" and turn it into a performance machine which includes all new suspension (OE or aftermarket, your decision) and a new clutch and all new maintenance items such as RTABs, FCABs, engine and transmission mounts, belts, oil change, brake pads, etc.

It's fun to work on E36s too. There is a small learning curve but they are much more basic than today's German cars. Grab an ODB I (1995) if you can, as they only have one O2 sensor (versus 4 in OBD II cars) and less of a pain, emissions wise. Obviously, I could go on for days about this. However, the above is a good jist of what to watch out for, other than the usual such as body panel gaps, bald tires, "bodywork," and a bad CarFAX.


Any reason not to get a convertible E36? I think the E30s look better, any reason not to go for one of those (besides being older). I'm liking this idea. Driving an old BMW would feel good, could work on it with my son too, would be good for bonding.


DO NOT GET A CONVERTIBLE E36! I just got rid of mine (99 e36 M3 Pictured here: http://imgur.com/a/NsuWW#0 ) and the tops are a bitch to work on. There are tons of things that can go wrong and they all do on the tops.

They have a bunch of microswitches that can fail. The tensioners connected to the straps get too stretched out over time and cause the deck lid not to open/close properly, which can further cause the motors (2 or 3, depends) to burn up easily. The motors cost a fortune too. You have to put bungee cords around the metal to even have a chance of it working properly. There is a red lever under the back seat that EVERYBODY eventually pulls out of curiosity. This disengages the motors, and you have to re-time them. You can re-time them yourself, but if the microswitches or syncing of the front latching motor is out, then you might be screwed. Screw that car.

EDIT: I've also owned a 95 Hellrot red E36 M3 coupe and I loved that.



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