Strategies on how to say no to diamonds

Does anyone have any strategies on how to say no to diamonds? Just like other FWers I know that diamonds are the biggest scam around and I don't feel like contributing to the cartel. Has anyone been able to get away without buying a diamond?

I am thinking of sending my GF this article:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1293073/posts

My GF is obsessed with diamonds though and has always dreamt of having a nice, big one. I don't know how I can talk her out of it. The way I see it, its all peer pressure.

I have compiled a list of articles about diamonds if anyone is interested:

PBS

Time

FindArticles

Howstuffworks

Will the diamond cartel will be thrown out of business

Will not buying a diamond get you in trouble

Should I open a ROTH IRA in her account and put the money toward the diamond?

nilpunk said: You should start glancing at other gemstones with your GF and mention how "plain" & "boring" diamonds are. Talk about how "unique" she is and how as a couple you should find a ring that would express that. Or just talk about how beautiful her eyes are and how you wish you could find just the right gem to match them. Basically just make sure she sees the hundreds of other types of gemstones & ring settings that are possible. Don't force her into not getting a diamond just expose her to all the possible options.

My wife and I looked at hundreds of gems before she found one that really caught her eye in a firey Black Opal from Australia. We took it to a really great jeweler and worked with him to design a unique setting for the ring. He had a wax mold to look at in a couple days, and then a couple weeks later we had the ring. Total cost was about $300 for the gem & $350 for the setting. All her friends and relatives loved it, and she adored it enough that when it came time to get married she decided to keep the engagement ring (which saved going out and buying a seperate wedding band). I think it's much more special to her than a generic diamond engagement ring could ever be.

vOv said: My GF is obsessed with diamonds though and has always dreamt of having a nice, big one. I don't know how I can talk her out of it. The way I see it, its all peer pressure.

relationships > money

Kempman said: vOv said: My GF is obsessed with diamonds though and has always dreamt of having a nice, big one. I don't know how I can talk her out of it. The way I see it, its all peer pressure.

relationships > money

I agree, but its exactly that kinda mentality that leads ppl to make bad financial decisions. Is it smart to get in debt to please your GF or speakup even if it hurts her feelings and let her know why its a waste? My GF expects a 2 carat diamond and it would set us back if I go ahead and pay that kind of money.

CZ a man's best friend.

mhesidence said: CZ a man's best friend.

Dude, thats like cheating on her.

you want to take away someones' dream?

vOv said: Kempman said: vOv said: My GF is obsessed with diamonds though and has always dreamt of having a nice, big one. I don't know how I can talk her out of it. The way I see it, its all peer pressure.

relationships > money

I agree, but its exactly that kinda mentality that leads ppl to make bad financial decisions. Is it smart to get in debt to please your GF or speakup even if it hurts her feelings and let her know why its a waste? My GF expects a 2 carat diamond and it would set up back if I go ahead and pay that kind of money.

You need to talk and discuss what the pros and cons are of making this purchase. This won't be the last discussion on what she wants vs. what you want. I bought the diamond and it was worth it because she truly appreciates it and it is a symbol of the sacrifices I'm willing to make for her. It also makes me feel good that she appreciates those kinds of sacrifices. Is it fiscally responsible, no. Is it healthy for our relationship, yes.

BTW, I didn't go 2 carats though. (I was a student at the time, so last time I checked two months salary when you make nothing, is, uhhh.. nothing)

First you should come up with a strategy on how you plan on getting along without ever having sex again

hooker is always cheaper than a gf

RushnRockt said: jkanownik said: Explain to your GF that for the price of a 2 carat diamond you could get like 5 Russian brides. Personally I'd take my chances with the Russians.

I second that, they cook better too.All 5 of them at the same time or do you let them alternate?

after you get married she will be trying to talk you out of getting the kidney transplant you want down the road...

vOv said: I like the responses here. Here is the deal though. By buying the diamond (with cash of course), we would be eating into our emergency funds. Is it really smart to fulfill your GFs desires or talk her out of it. Like someone said here, the diamond is not for her its for her friends.Is it possible to compromise by buying a very small diamond now with a view of upgrading it down the road?

just get her a fake rock. like she'll be able to tell the difference? then imagine all the xtra money u'll save on insurance.

Run, don't walk, away from any person (man or woman) that feels a super expensive rock is more important than a solid relationship. And by super expensive I mean if it costs more than a few days earnings, its waaay too much. If you explain this to him/her and they don't agree, its time to review your relationship, pronto.

Demanding expensive trinkets to impress friends with, sounds like a great start to a long term relationship based on whats-in-it-for-me.

Get her a 3/4 carat ring and if she is offended return it and her.

Good luck with the compare and contrast of a diamond versus IRA - guarantee you'll be pegged as a really romantic guy that will sweep her offer her feet for the rest of her life.

Everyone, regardless of who you are, care to some degree about what other people think of them. Humans like to be part of a group and socialize. So any person's desire for a diamond is perfectly rational.

vOv said: First marriage for both of us. I am a bit surprised with the responses though. So sounds like most men here just swallow their pride and buy whatever their GF wants. I wish DeBeers was a public company... nice scam they have going on. I am so furious about the diamond scam that I am thinking of starting a website with all the info about how evil diamonds are.

Diamonds are evil, I agree. I bought one for my wife, and I dont really regret it, really. Well sorta sometimes, but not really. Anyway, low quality diamonds really arent that expensive, maybe you can get a cheap one? Its not "cheating" with CZ. You can negotiate with her too. Tell her you think its better to have a fabulous wedding rather than a fabulous rock.

In the end, she will probably spend all your money anyway so whats the difference.

Hopefully this isn't the tip of the iceberg...my SO watches Bridezilla, and some of those weddings cost an insane amount of money. Usually $200K+.

TheWiseGuy said: just get her a fake rock. like she'll be able to tell the difference? then imagine all the xtra money u'll save on insurance.It's not the rock itself but also the quality of the workmanship. CZ rocks typically don't look very good because they are not finished to the same quality of real diamonds.

Also, I don't like the idea of lying to someone by buying them a fake gift. Not to mention it sets them up for disappointment/embarassment later on when they find out the rock is fake.

Lemme tell you a story about "fiscal responsibility vs relationship".

There was a time, when my GF (now wife) and I was in a long distance. We wanted to have a nice holiday together, but with money problems, we kept postponing it...postponing it. We made all the plans, talked about it, but when it comes to actually paying for it, we got cold feet and say "we really can't afford it."

Our relationship began to get strained, we began to fight about small amounts of money. It came to head, and all of a sudden, our relationship imploded. We called our marriage off, and ended the relationship. In the "postmortum", we talked about how we might have saved the relationship if we have taken that holiday we wanted to, but didn't because it was not "fiscally responsible". It struck us like a lightning bolt, the next thing you know, both of us were buying last minute Full Fare air tickets to some country to meet the next day. In the end, we spent at least 5 times more on those tickets that we said we can't afford.

That was the best trip we ever had, and it saved our relationship.

Moral : YMMV.

ETFnerd said: do you also feel that art is overpriced canvas and colored chemicals? bigger scam?

Absolutely.