It doesn't have to be true, but scary (or funny/scary)
I'll go first, since this one received a lot of green the first time I posted it.
/shines flashlight under face
Mary R. xxxx and Deborah R xxxx both died in vaylon's house. They died while waiting on hold for their card's customer service reps, because back in their day customer service had already been outsourced to India, but since they didn't have phones yet, so customer service consisted of writing letters back and forth to India and sending them via steamship. So they died of old age before they could get their 0% Balance Transfer's completed.
Now Mary R. xxxx and Deborah R xxxx's ghosts are now out for revenge. They've ordered credit cards and will be taking out cash advances to purchase subprime mortgage lender stock on margin at full service brokerages and whole life insurance policies on vaylon. Since the bills are going to vaylon's address the ghosts are going to make sure he's got to pay them. Once the stress of disputing the bills causes vaylon to jump off a cliff, the whole life insurance policies on him will kick in and the benefits will be delivered to vaylon's now "empty" house. Shadowy figures will be seen inside the house opening the life insurance package, and two women, now restored to life via the insurance policies, will be seen leaving the house in vaylon's car, a RedCelicaGT. No one know's where they went.... is that a knock on your door?
I've got a scary true one. My gf and I were living in an apartment complex. As you know sometimes you get mail for previous occupants, so I didn't think anything of it when what looked like a bill showed up for a Jane xxxxx. It had someone elses name on it, so I figured address mistake or whatnot and it would be corrected. Then more bills started showing up for Jane, so I went to the post office and filed a form that only my gf and I were living at the address, and stop sending us Jane's mail. Well, it did stop. A few months later we moved, and the mail started showing up again addressed to Jane xxxxx, this time with our new address (ie. not forwarded).... My gf and I both went WTF!?!
So we decided to open Jane's cc bill. In the bill were charges for entire months stay at a hotel near where we lived, among other things. We decided there must be some kind of weird identity theft type thing going on. We had locked mailboxes in both locations, so I don't think it could have been some scheme involving stealing our mail. So we called the cc company and reported Jane xxxxx for probable fraud. The cc company said they would investigate and let us know what happened, but they never did get back to us.
short version - me, my college buddy, and our two girlfriends are going to buy house together so we dont have to live in the dorms. None of us has any money to do this alone and we would be depending on grandparents and others.
Once, a friend of mine who had already tried to sell us on Nikken, Axa, and a few other MLM schemes asked my wife and I if she could "practice" her Ameriquest sales speech on us. We agreed, but stated at that time that we would *not* buy anything. So she comes over, and goes over our current financial state. We bought our house abandoned, paid down about 20% on it, including a grant we got from the state for first time buyers which prevents us from refinancing for the first five years. The loan is a 30 year fixed at the lowest rate in the past 20 years. The only other debt we have is my school loan at, say, 4%. So the standard "refinance your house to pay off your debt then buy our crappy mutual funds" was not working.
So she switched to life insurance. She begged me to buy life insurance, told long involved tales of everything that would happen if I were to die, she even asked me if I *really* loved my wife, and if so, why am I not buying this life insurance. She even cried real tears over the fact that I didn't have this great life insurance. After I had patiently and calmly said "no" for about 45 minutes, she paused, collected her thoughts and said:
"Ok, Soundtechie. We're talking about what would happen if you died. So... you're dead. You're not allowed to talk anymore. So, mrs. soundtechie, what if... " And she proceeded to nag my wife for half an hour.
The U.S. government fails to build up the Social Security and Medicare trust funds. As a result, workers will be required to work until 70 to obtain their reduced annuity, and taxes will rise significantly to fund existing taxes. However, the wars in the middle-east continue unabated.
1992-1998 with a gal and I paid for everything, while going to school full time and while working full time making $6 an hour. No financial aid or familial support. Just me and my trusty credit cards.
Funny unless your like me and use netbank as your main bank.
FMXP
Member
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 1:46p
An employee & their employer "contribute" to a "retirement program". The employee retires in 2003, the "contributions" total over a quarter of a million dollars. The employee can not touch the money. The money is in the eerie Social Security program. The DOW Jones Industrials at the time is 8300. In 2005 there is serious talk of reducing benefits, which stalls.
The money if invested would of increased by at least 50%. The retiree still can not touch the money for at least 4 more years & then with "reduced benefits". When the retiree decides to start "collecting", current workers who are contributing are being told that they are the ones "paying" & there wont be any money for them. Where did the money goooo?
FMXP said: An employee & their employer "contribute" to a "retirement program". The employee retires in 2003, the "contributions" total over a quarter of a million dollars. The employee can not touch the money. The money is in the eerie Social Security program. The DOW Jones Industrials at the time is 8300. In 2005 there is serious talk of reducing benefits, which stalls.
The money if invested would of increased by at least 50%. The retiree still can not touch the money for at least 4 more years & then with "reduced benefits". When the retiree decides to start "collecting", current workers who are contributing are being told that they are the ones "paying" & there wont be any money for them. Where did the money goooo?
When the program started, there were people drawing benefits who had never paid. This made the program attractive when it started - "Look" they said, "money from nowhere!"
dhobi said: The $2.4 Trillion cost of current war. For full disclosue that is the cost projected if we stay at current occupation levels for the next 10 years.
glxpass
Senior Member - 5K
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 2:22p
Congress finally passes a law that eliminates mortgage interest as a tax deduction. Shudder!
dhobi
Senior Member - 1K
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 2:30p
quaters said: dhobi said: The $2.4 Trillion cost of current war. For full disclosue that is the cost projected if we stay at current occupation levels for the next 10 years.
The wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and anti terrorist efforts abroad could cost the country $2.4 trillion over the next ten years, according to a report Wednesday.
The money, over 70 percent of which would go to support operations in Iraq, includes the estimated $600 billion spent since 2001, Congressional Budget Office Director Peter Orszag said in testimony before the House Budget Committee. That estimate includes projected interest, since the government is borrowing most of the funds required.
The wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and anti terrorist efforts abroad could cost the country $2.4 trillion.
The $2.4 trillion would pay to keep 75,000 troops deployed overseas from 2013 to 2017. About 210,000 troops are currently deployed. It does not include the Pentagon's normal spending, which in 2007 is estimated to be about $450 billion.
The estimated $2.4 trillion works out to about $21,500 per American household.
Without interest, the war efforts are projected to cost about $1.7 trillion. Several lawmakers noted the wide gap.
"This entire war has been paid for with a government credit card," one lawmaker said.
The CBO also prepared another estimate, this one reducing the number of troops overseas to 30,000 beginning in 2010 and not relying on borrowed funds.
Under that scenario the wars are expected to cost about $1.2 trillion.
In the runup to the Iraq war in 2003, Bush administration officials said that forcibly changing regimes in Iraq should cost somewhere around $50 billion, and would be financed mostly through selling Iraqi oil.
any decent lawyer will argue you won on the night the numbers were drawn and you only waited to claim the prize.
Same goes (and went) for the guy who was already going thru divorce, but won before it was final. He waited to claim the prize, then she found out, and actually got MORE than half b/c he was hiding it.
The only thing perhaps saving him is getting it annulled. That'd throw a wrinkle into the legal works...and if you'd probably have to prove you didn't annul the wedding merely b/c of the lottery prize...i.e. prove she slept w/ the best man.
panchoisthedog
Member
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 3:52p
I just send Dr. Nwedle Adgele his portion of his winning Nigerian Lottery check. (He has concerns with fraud in the Nigerian banking system.) I cashed his $100,000 check in my kid's college fund and just finshed sending him a wire transfer for $60,000. I just made 40,000 for checking a check. Thank god I answered that email..
javaman2003 said: theman2 said: the day work catches on a blocks FWF My previous employer did block FW.I see why you switched jobs
ETFnerd
Happy Member
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 4:08p
One time I dreamt that mikef07 was giving me was giving me financial advice and I was taking it. Now I knew that I didn't want to but I kept doing it and I couldn't help myself. It was a total out of body experience. The HORROR!!!!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
ETFnerd said: One time I dreamt that mikef07 was giving me was giving me financial advice and I was taking it. Now I knew that I didn't want to but I kept doing it and I couldn't help myself. It was a total out of body experience. The HORROR!!!!! Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
I woke up in a cold sweat.at least thats all he was giving you.
he recommended my peepeee get pumped full of hot humid air, and the scairest part is it wasnt even in the drs office!
Quiesce
New Member
posted: Oct. 24, 2007 @ 5:04p
My story goes something like
One of my co-workers comes up to me and says. "Quiesce I am selling something on eBay and got a message from the buyer. He says that he can only write checks for $3000 and wants me to send a refund for the over payment with the item. Do you think it is a scam?"
Last week teenager thru the block orders blow up sex doll via UPS. He gets home from school before his parents, no problem. Except my house has the same house number as theirs, and as too often happens, the package comes here. I open it without looking at the "mail to" name.
YIKES. Heart attack. Dear, did YOU order this? ROFLMAO barely even describes it. This really made my day. My week even.
I know I should have been mean and taken it to his parents, but I put on their porch where he'll get it - already opened. Over the years I received and delivered to him his new encyclopedia set, his new skis. He'll know exactly what happened.
first, my apologies to the FWF'er making an appearance here, it's all in good fun
April 14th, tax due date eve.....
I'd just received a test drive freebie offer, "Free hybrid Yugo with a Yugo test drive". I thought, "Hey, that will be fun, I can drive it until it runs out of gas, then throw it away." So off I went to the dealership. Since I was too busy thinking of my freebie Yugo, I didn't think about it when the salescritter asked for my name, phone number, address, mother's maiden name, drivers license, social security number, credit card expiration date, city of birth, credit card security number, fingerprint, and drop of blood. At least they didn't make me take the test drive, they just let me drive off in the Yugo, said it was the test drive. Well, a freebie Yugo wasn't good enough for me, so I bought a bunch of gold, to make it weigh enough that I could depreciate it off on my taxes.
In my freebie Yugo, I went to a UFF seminar to hand out copies of the free one page book Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford. Since the seminar was full, I waited by the exit with my free copies of the book handy. Finally the seminar ended, and out walked SuckIsStaples. I'd never seen someone with a head quite like that before! It was scary I tell you. It got even scarier when SIS started groaning "brainsss...., I mean brainssss... and $3500 software!" and shambling towards me. I was going to run away, but I thought "How will running away from zombie SIS affect my credit score?". I mean SIS is a lawyer, and if he wants my brains and $3500, I definitely have legal problems! I was going to have to come up with $3500 fast! But I only had $1750 in my emergency fund ! Where do I invest $1750 until SIS catches me?
Jumping back in my gold weighted Yugo, I slowed away from the shuffling SIS. I needed to double my money before zombie SIS caught up to me. Should I go for an IRA, some savings bonds, or just bet it all on black? It was definitely an emergency! So I tried betting it all on black. Unfortunately for me, it came up red, so I called up the credit card companies and did an AOR. This time I bet red, and it came up black! Now I was in some serious debt, should I file for bankruptcy? Getting off the phone with the credit card companies, I could hear zombie SIS somewhere in the casino, "brainssss... and $3500 software!" He was still coming after me, I needed to get out of debt fast! So I turned to the people next to me and asked "What do you guys do on the side for extra money?"
Well, this was Vegas after all, and lets not talk about it too much, but thanks to an incident involving a WallStMonkey and a trip to the BankOfGreed, lets just say that I'll never look at mikef07 quite the same way again. Anyway, I finally had the $3500. "Brainssss... and $3500 software!", zombie SIS had finally cornered me. With nothing left to do, I meekly offered zombie SIS my $3500, took a copy of the UFF software, and prepared to accept my fate. Fortunately, at that very moment DaveHanson and JayK walked by. Zombie SIS sniffed the air and said "BIGGER BRAINS!!!" and went off after them.
And that, folks, is how I spent TAX DUE DATE EVE!!!!!
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