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Friend is about to destroy his credit for his girlfriend

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I am wondering if I should talk to my friend about this or just let the train wreck arrive with out saying anything. Honestly I think I will keep my mouth shut just because he probably won't speak to me anymore if I say anything. Basically he has a girlfriend that he is SURE "loves" him. From what I can tell from one of her friends she has a history of bleeding her partners dry financially then moving on.

Basically he has been with her about 18 months and has gone from about zero dollars in debt to now over 20K in that time and it's getting added to every month. He has also gotten a family member to balance transfer 8K to her credit card because he can't handle it all. (his family member thinks he is ONLY 8K in debt and is supposedly just helping him pay off the 8K at a "lower rate", but that 8K isn't including the 20K he is carrying on top of that) He has over ten credit cards all with balances plus an auto loan. He has already has late payments on some of the cards and he is paying some on default interest rates.

He WAS about a year away from getting his degree, but he has postponed that now (aka, dropped out) to work more because his girlfriend is demanding more and more. What made him drop out finally was her demand for him to move out from leaving with his room mate (that paid half the rent on a reasonable priced apartment), and now move in to a higher cost apartment which he pays for in full himself.

He makes about $2200 NET PAY a month. If he stops his spending he can still probably pay off the debt he has, but it's like he doesn't see where this is heading at all.

He is buying her all kinds of crap - Ipods, a $600 scanner to scan her photos with!, laptop computer, he got her a $500 PDA phone and a contract under HIS name, and is even paying her everyday bills. (food, car repair bills, everything) She also constantly is on him to take her out to dinner ($100 a dinner at a nice place somtimes), take her to shows, all kinds of going out crap that he can not afford to keep putting on credit cards. She does not help him pay a DIME on ANY bill. In fact, whenever she does get a job she usually only keeps it for a month or so, calls in sick half that time, and pockets all the money her self.

Is there anything anyone has ever learned you can say to someone in this situation to wake them up? I hate to see him throw away his education and be in massive debt because he thinks his girlfriend would never use him for money. I mean it is obvious to my self, his other friends, and some of his family what is going on here. Why isn't it obvious to him?

Message edited by: Mikeafr on 2008-02-05 19:39:44 CST
Message edited by: chokaay on 2008-02-20 10:33:38 CST
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pics?

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ahhhhhhhh..... true love

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lorcha said:pics?

I do not understand why members always ask for pics. What is the relevance, and why would it matters?
Anyway back to the situation at hand.. Maybe if you get a group of people that he knows well, then maybe he can see the light. This is one of those situation "love" where people defied logical reasoning. It's going to be a hard lesson learned either way for the guy. In my opinion, I would try to gather some supports from his closest family members and friends, and try to talk to the guy.
gL

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Get him drunk, get him laid, make sure she finds out and dumps him.

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Pretty much all women are like this though. They'll take all your money.

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Gosh, OP brought a tear to my eye of nostalgia. His friends sound just like me and my first ex from the 80s!

I do not understand why members always ask for pics. What is the relevance, and why would it matters?

Well, keep on working on it. You can't really become a full fledged member of FWF until you grok it.

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Your friend sounds like he's already hosed. He'll run out of money (very) soon, she'll leave, and the problem will fix itself.

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didn't you just post this a week ago?

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Bullets are less than 10 cents each....

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AnhLoc said:lorcha said:pics?

I do not understand why members always ask for pics. What is the relevance, and why would it matters?
OP's "friend" is smitten with a girl to the point of wasting upwards of the equivalent value of 200 decent prostitutes on her.

How can I possibly render any useful advice without knowing how hot she is? duh.

Message edited by: lorcha on 2008-02-05 20:06:39 CST
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In FW, friend is another word for yourself

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Mucho props for anyone who can dig up this same post by a different OP about a week ago. I'm certain I'm not imagining it, but I can't find it.

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Show him how to do AOR/0% BT.

It's a win-win. He keeps the girl for 6, 12, maybe even 15 more months and FWFers have hope to continue to get 0% offers in the future

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if he's that sprung... he's not going to listen to you or anyone else.

don't make his problem yours.

although it makes for an interesting thread.

carry on.

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AnhLoc said:I do not understand why members always ask for pics. ...

Humor.

Message edited by: mhesidence on 2008-02-05 20:11:06 CST
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Tell him the things you've told us, and how that is making you wonder if this might be a bad relationship for him. Press the issue if you feel you can get anywhere with it, but if you can't then don't. Most likely, he'll pursue this train wreck to its end, and then the next time he gets into a bad relationship you'll have some weight as the guy who saw it coming last time.

If you have like minded mutual friends, you could stage an intervention.

I like the idea of getting him laid, too.

--Joe

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Silence is golden..
PICS are diamonds

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