First I’ll have to give you some history. Over my career, I have frequently moved to different companies and I have moved my 401k several times. I now have 2 401k plans and a simple IRA plan. I have just started working in a new position but at none of the companies. I have approximately $50,000 in one 401k, and $8,000 in the other two. I don't own a home and I am now looking to buy my first one. My girlfriend has a lot of equity from the sale of her house. We are both 40 years old.
I have only $2,000 in available cash in the bank.
We have recently moved to a much more affordable region and I can now afford a mortgage but won't have savings for deposit for another 6-10 months or so. I would like to go in equally with my girlfriend or figure a way where we can share in equity. So I have several questions:
1. What's a good method that my girlfriend and I can work fairly with her greater equity?

Like most people I am not thrilled by my 401k returns lately. I would like to move them to a self-directed IRA where I have more choices on investments. I am reading that index funds are best to minimize fees but I'd also like to be able to choose individual stocks and funds.
2. Where can I do this? Will I lose out on 401k advantages?

I have also been thinking of taking a loan on my 401k or using moneys for first time buyer - I can't do this since I no longer work for the companies.

3. Can I do this in an IRA? In other words can I transfer my money to an IRA and then take loan from there?
4. Will a loan officer give us a loan if I have $15,000 from a 401k (IRA) first time buyer loan and only $5,000 cash funds?
5. Should I leave my money in former employer 401k, roll it to IRA and invest in individual stocks and funds, roll it to IRA and invest 3/4 of it and take 1/4 out $10 - $15,000 for down payment on first home?

Thanks for your help

brendang00 said:1. What's a good method that my girlfriend and I can work fairly with her greater equity?Either she lends you the money, with interest, to buy a portion of her interest, or, at least at first, she owns a larger fraction than you, you are each responsible for your portion of the mortgage, and you pay her rent for her excess equity.
Like most people I am not thrilled by my 401k returns lately. I would like to move them to a self-directed IRA where I have more choices on investments. I am reading that index funds are best to minimize fees but I'd also like to be able to choose individual stocks and funds.
2. Where can I do this? Will I lose out on 401k advantages?If you're under 59 1/2, you can't from your current employer.
3. Can I do this in an IRA? In other words can I transfer my money to an IRA and then take loan from there?No.
5. Should I leave my money in former employer 401k, roll it to IRA and invest in individual stocks and funds, roll it to IRA and invest 3/4 of it and take 1/4 out $10 - $15,000 for down payment on first home?Roll it over and invest it.

Thoreau said:Roll all of your existing accounts over to an IRA at Vanguard. Don't borrow from the IRA; let that money grow tax free. Then marry your girlfriend and use her money to buy the house. If you're not ready to get married yet, you should seriously re-think the house purchase plan.In case you missed the important part above, I've highlighted it for you.

"Playing house" is just asking for trouble. Get married or rent. You'll thank Thoreau for his advice.

Several problems with ALL the loan ideas.

1. As you already seem to know, you can NOT take a loan from a 401k plan after you have left the company. In fact if you have a 401k loan you must repay it within 60 days of leaving the company or it is a non-qualified distribution (taxable income + 10% penalty).

2. You can NOT take a loan on an IRA, Either A or B, below is a "prohibited transaction", which disqualifies the "entire" IRA and results in the full amount as taxable income + 10% penalty
A. Your IRA custodian lets you take a loan (can't think of one that would let you).
B. You find a Financial institution stupid enough to loan you money using your IRA as collateral.

Also, the fact that your returns from your 401k are not great lately, is the EXACT reason for not withdrawing any of this money
A. You will lock in the losses after a market decline.
B. You will pay taxes on the extra ordinary income.
C. You will pay a 10% penalty.
D. You will be depleting your retirement accounts at an age you should be doing significant accumulation.