IrishTomBunny said:anakinskywalker said:IrishTomBunny said:darkmeridian said:JorgeBurrito said:So I went to my local citibank branch to deposit my $100 pay check (thats righ baby, $100, read it and weep) and there was like 3 people in line in front of me to get to the teller. I promptly withdrawed all $400 of my money at Citibank as obviously they are about to go under. I am contemplating burying the money in my backyard and then creating a secret treasure map that I will keep underneath my pillow. Anyone have any suggestions on the best way to create a pirate like treasure map? What about where to buy high quality booby traps to guard said money (under $400 would be best)? I looked through hot deals but did not see any booby trap deals.

Is this a joke?

It's a joke.

I'm pretty sure it's not a joke; I asked 10 people and they all confirmed it's not. Yoda was laughing, but he's old and acts weird and is always laughing anyway.

Anakin

I beg to differ. I held my ACME Joke-O-Meter up the the laptop screen, and it was PEGGED. Never seen such a high reading.

Maybe it was built by the Klingons? To them everything is a joke.

Anakin

JorgeBurrito said:Thanks for all the great advice. I did not even realize that there was a burger crisis as well. You fwf people are geniusess. After consulting the psychic reccomended by IrishTomBunny I have decided to spend a quarter of my savings, yes $100, on Burgers. I am not sure whether to bury these with my money or not yet, I fear dogs will soon discover my stash if i bury the burgers. Any news on weather there is also a dog crisis?
I hear the Irish Setters are using slant digging to get at neighboring burger wells.

ToHellWithUGA said:JorgeBurrito said:Thanks for all the great advice. I did not even realize that there was a burger crisis as well. You fwf people are geniusess. After consulting the psychic reccomended by IrishTomBunny I have decided to spend a quarter of my savings, yes $100, on Burgers. I am not sure whether to bury these with my money or not yet, I fear dogs will soon discover my stash if i bury the burgers. Any news on weather there is also a dog crisis?
I hear the Irish Setters are using slant digging to get at neighboring burger wells.
The Indians bury burgers and plant corn on top, that is how they grow casinos. I read that somewhere. I just typed it and read it.

depalma13 said:JorgeBurrito said:So I went to my local citibank branch to deposit my $100 pay check (thats righ baby, $100, read it and weep) and there was like 3 people in line in front of me to get to the teller. I promptly withdrawed all $400 of my money at Citibank as obviously they are about to go under. I am contemplating burying the money in my backyard and then creating a secret treasure map that I will keep underneath my pillow. Anyone have any suggestions on the best way to create a pirate like treasure map? What about where to buy high quality booby traps to guard said money (under $400 would be best)? I looked through hot deals but did not see any booby trap deals.

Just remember that X no longer marks the spot. Word got out that X was being used and all of the pirates lost their loot when someone else found their maps. The new secret letter is G. G now marks the spot. All of the best treasure is located at the G spot.

My girlfriend says that in that case, no guy will ever find it.

Saw this on a chat on WashingtonPost.com yesterday. Seems pretty obvious it's a joke ("one at the ATM"?) but the Post reporters took it seriously. Probably a Fatwalleter.

Washington, D.C.: I was surprised to see two people ahead of me at the bank this morning (and one at the ATM). Fearing a run, I withdrew all of my savings. I will now keep my money under my mattress where I know it is safe thank you very much.

Eric Solis: Keeping money in cash is not wise or recommended. If your money is with an insured financial institution it is secure. You may want to avoid FI's that have grown aggressively through broker deposits. These are the banks that are having the most difficulty keeping assets.

Nancy Trejos: All the experts I talked to yesterday said the same thing: The most important thing is not to panic. Yes, these are troubling times, but most banks are in good condition. The FDIC keeps a list of 90 problem banks. While that's not a good thing, in the grand scheme of things that's a small percentage of the nation's financial institutions. And, as the FDIC spokeswoman I talked to pointed out, most of these problem banks are not going to fail. Five have failed so far this year.

Link

Invest in hot dogs instead. Better resale value.

bombcar said:There was also a long line at Jack-in-the-Box, so I withdrew all the burgers they had. I'll keep them under my bed.

Watch out with Jack in the Box, they still use trans fat...in fact they somehow managed to have 24 of the top "88 least healthy foods" list. Impressive.

Woah, it's getting real bad out there. Usually my hooker accepts checks, but this time she said she wouldn't take it. She didn't want to have to go to the bank and deposit it because everything is about to go under (there's a pun in there somewhere).

So we just stayed up and played scrabble.

ieatbabypenguins said:Woah, it's getting real bad out there. Usually my hooker accepts checks, but this time she said she wouldn't take it. She didn't want to have to go to the bank and deposit it because everything is about to go under (there's a pun in there somewhere).

So we just stayed up and played scrabble.
Good thing there wasn't a line for your hooker. Then you'd end up with a 'buried dead hooker'. That's not funny, but it's a good name for a band.

Being that this is FW, I say the cheapest way to protect your buried money is to plant fire ants on top of it. Find a mound somewhere in your neighborhood & bring a shovelful back to your backyard. Free 24/7/365 guard protection.