bbyf16 said:I'm sorry if I'm about to ramble/rant but people like Dan piss me the hell off. We're not in the 1800s where there was no condom as such, no morning after pill, no spermicide, no pill/patch, no IUDs. Obviously dan had to have been happy with the relationship to be having sex with his girlfriend without a condom for a while. And if he did regularly use a condom, and this was his first time not, well, looks like he just lost a pretty bad gamble (1 egg, like 50 million sperm) and now when the inevitable outcome has arrived. Dans running around like a little b*tch saying what do I do, what do I do? I'll tell you dan should do, grow a pair, and accept the fact he's going to be a father and try to love the kid. Aint nothing worse for a kid than a father that doesn't love him. Are we all so obsessed with money that we forget that there's a life at stake here? So she has a spending problem, big deal, at least its not as big a problem as dans nature of taking adverse risk with little to no gain. Financially speaking, 20 grand may seem like a lot but its not and I'll explain to you why. She's pregnant and she's in debt in a recession, just call up all the cc compnaies and tell them straight up, listen, I'm not married, I've got a temp job, and I got pregnant, I would like to pay this debt, can you please settle with me. under these circumstances, I'd say they might even settle for 25% of the debt which turns out to be 5 grand which dan can then pay off. She can teach dan about this new invention called the freaking condom, and he can show her the magical world of debit cards. Wow, I saved the day again :-P

-sorry if there are any typos or it doesn't make sense, I'm typing on my phone.

And posts like this piss me off. There are so many poor assumptions in here, it's pathetic. First of all, you don't know they weren't using some form of contraception which failed. I was in a situation like this not very long ago because my g/f missed a pill one day. She thought it would be fine... turn out she was wrong. Oh, and did I mention she didn't bother to tell me? Should I have used a condom?... Yeah, probably, in fact, I wish I did... but at the same time, I don't think believing her when she said she was on the pill was that far out of line.
Like 'Dan,' I wasn't dating her for the long term at the time... it was just fun fling. Sorry if that bothers you moralists out there, but we didn't have a problem with it.

As you sit on your mile high horse out there, you can't imagine the emotional roller coaster ride this guy is on. It's probably like nothing he has ever experienced before. Does he stay? Does he bail? Does he disappear? Does he stay and pay child support? Does he fight for custody? Does he propose? It's all running through his head at a breakneck pace and he will be changing his mind on his course of action multiple times per day. The emotional turmoil is like nothing I've ever dealt with before and since... and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

What matters is that he makes the right decision in the end. Fortunately for him, he has a couple months to figure it out. Let him gather all the info related to his options before you impale him with your spear of BS morality.

Very fortunately for me, I am now living with my g/f and son, and we are doing very well as a family. Turns out she is pretty cool and for the most part we are moving forward with our lives together with our new addition. But I'm not pretentious enough to believe that it should work out that way for every set of people. And I agree with ppatin..., as someone who was raised in a broken home, I believe that it is better to live between separated parents then in a house with two parents in a dysfunctional relationship.

OP, read this FWF topic that got moved to Off topic. The OP deleted the post, but it was quoted in one of the first replies.

Deadbeat Mamma!

PolarDude said:joking aside.. abortion IS the way to go.. It is not Dan's choice.

tripleB said:Tell him to get circumsized so this doesnt happen again!

It's ok baby, I'm circumsized.

tripleB said:Tell him to get circumsized so this doesnt happen again!It thought it was a requirement to enter a Ph.D. program.

Well condoms are defintely too late. We should tell Dan to enjoy some worry free pregancy sex. After all he kind of earned it.

ibmman69 said:devastated2 said:Agreed, absolutely not the kids fault, and marriage would be simplest. But if they don't get married, a big concern is: how to ensure child support pays for the child and not for the GF's shopping habit?

In short: you can't. Cash is FUNGIBLE.

They make CREAM to clear that up. And if he got an STD from her, she is probably a whore and he should definitely get the kid tested for maternity.

zzyzzx said:Take her to the nearest abortion clinic.

If she hesitates, promise to give her a pony. Then afterward when she asks, "Where's my pony?" tell her to take it to Family Court.

You could also give up the baby for adoption - believe it or not, there are plenty of families looking to adopt a normal healthy baby. In fact, in some states there are "no questions asked" laws when you drop off a newborn at a hospital and walk away.

This may be the best end result for the child given that least one parent doesn't want the it (or the family) and abortion is not under consideration.

Sunderware said:bbyf16 said:I'm sorry if I'm about to ramble/rant but people like Dan piss me the hell off. We're not in the 1800s where there was no condom as such, no morning after pill, no spermicide, no pill/patch, no IUDs. Obviously dan had to have been happy with the relationship to be having sex with his girlfriend without a condom for a while. And if he did regularly use a condom, and this was his first time not, well, looks like he just lost a pretty bad gamble (1 egg, like 50 million sperm) and now when the inevitable outcome has arrived. Dans running around like a little b*tch saying what do I do, what do I do? I'll tell you dan should do, grow a pair, and accept the fact he's going to be a father and try to love the kid. Aint nothing worse for a kid than a father that doesn't love him. Are we all so obsessed with money that we forget that there's a life at stake here? So she has a spending problem, big deal, at least its not as big a problem as dans nature of taking adverse risk with little to no gain. Financially speaking, 20 grand may seem like a lot but its not and I'll explain to you why. She's pregnant and she's in debt in a recession, just call up all the cc compnaies and tell them straight up, listen, I'm not married, I've got a temp job, and I got pregnant, I would like to pay this debt, can you please settle with me. under these circumstances, I'd say they might even settle for 25% of the debt which turns out to be 5 grand which dan can then pay off. She can teach dan about this new invention called the freaking condom, and he can show her the magical world of debit cards. Wow, I saved the day again :-P

-sorry if there are any typos or it doesn't make sense, I'm typing on my phone.


And posts like this piss me off. There are so many poor assumptions in here, it's pathetic. First of all, you don't know they weren't using some form of contraception which failed. I was in a situation like this not very long ago because my g/f missed a pill one day. She thought it would be fine... turn out she was wrong. Oh, and did I mention she didn't bother to tell me? Should I have used a condom?... Yeah, probably, in fact, I wish I did... but at the same time, I don't think believing her when she said she was on the pill was that far out of line.
Like 'Dan,' I wasn't dating her for the long term at the time... it was just fun fling. Sorry if that bothers you moralists out there, but we didn't have a problem with it.

As you sit on your mile high horse out there, you can't imagine the emotional roller coaster ride this guy is on. It's probably like nothing he has ever experienced before. Does he stay? Does he bail? Does he disappear? Does he stay and pay child support? Does he fight for custody? Does he propose? It's all running through his head at a breakneck pace and he will be changing his mind on his course of action multiple times per day. The emotional turmoil is like nothing I've ever dealt with before and since... and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

What matters is that he makes the right decision in the end. Fortunately for him, he has a couple months to figure it out. Let him gather all the info related to his options before you impale him with your spear of BS morality.

Very fortunately for me, I am now living with my g/f and son, and we are doing very well as a family. Turns out she is pretty cool and for the most part we are moving forward with our lives together with our new addition. But I'm not pretentious enough to believe that it should work out that way for every set of people. And I agree with ppatin..., as someone who was raised in a broken home, I believe that it is better to live between separated parents then in a house with two parents in a dysfunctional relationship.

It's sad how you can't see past that this isn't only about him at this point.