nycll said:cameron2003 said:Rather than cry, Dan should be celebrating. To be able to bring a baby into this world will fill his life with so much love, it will easily conquer all the FW BS. Congratulations are in order, I would throw a baby shower.So much red, geez.

So bringing a child into the world doesn't result in a richly fulfilling and loving relationship that goes beyond money matters?

lampy2k4 said:You could also give up the baby for adoption - believe it or not, there are plenty of families looking to adopt a normal healthy baby. In fact, in some states there is "no questions asked" laws when you drop off a newborn at a hospital and walk away.

Theres no age limit for this. A 16 year old was dropped off at a fire-station in one such state.

Oh no, she's being "punished with a baby."

kaaria said:
I recall my gf who was on the pill got prego. I thought my life would be destroyed. Turns out she did not want to lose me so she got off of the pill and get pregnant on purpose. Unfortunately, she lost the baby with a miscarriage, but had the baby survived, my life would have been totally screwed up.

Something very similar happened to a friend of mine too. He was with a girl for a couple of years. He was committed to her but didnt want to get married(guess he hung out with the FWF crowd lol).

Anyway, the gf got knocked up while she was supposed to be on the pill. My friend being a nice guy he is immediately agreed to marry her. In our social circles, thats pretty much a sure thing anyway.

After 3+ yrs of marriage, she confessed that she was off the pill for 3 months before he knocked her up and ofcourse, it was a deliberate ploy to get married. My friend says, in hindsight, the decision to get married was great for them regardless of the pregnancy.

My lesson from it all was to always use a condom regardless of what the woman claims to be taking.

Well condoms are defintely too late.
No, that's how you prevent surprises 2-5 from happening.

We should tell Dan to enjoy some worry free pregancy sex.

Hold on there cowboy, it hasn't been established that Dan is the father or that she is even pregnant, even IF he can enjoy pregnancy sex, that could be a problem if he isn't the only guy swimming in the pool...STD's and such...

After all he kind of earned it.
That hasn't been established yet.

After 3+ yrs of marriage, she confessed that she was off the pill for 3 months before he knocked her up and ofcourse, it was a deliberate ploy to get married. My friend says, in hindsight, the decision to get married was great for them regardless of the pregnancy.
Not sure how great a relationship can be that is based on fraud and deception..

shakyhands said:My lesson from it all was to always use a condom regardless of what the woman claims to be taking.

Back when I was in high school my mother told me the same thing. At the time that discussion made me cringe, but in hindsight it was one of the best pieces of advice I was ever given.

Also, not all stories end as well as your friend's. I had a former coworker whose gf "accidentally" got preggers. After they had the kid & got married she never went back to work or did anything around the house, and within a few months her parasitic brother had moved in as well. Ah well, the moral of that story is always think with your big head, not your little one.

Ah well, the moral of that story is always think with your big head, not your little one.
or just get a vasectomey.

ledwards said:He should agree to pay daycare costs (probably around $120/week for an infant)...Highly dependent on location. At least twice that in my area.

tripleB said:Tell "your friend Dan" that he should consider extending his PhD program another year. There's no official timeline with a PhD. Maybe he screwed up and needs more data. If he is in a research field, perhaps after he gets the PhD he can get the lowest paying post-doctoral position (~$30k/year) possible.

Then demand to go to court immediately after the child is born to determine child support. Show the judge how poor you are... I mean "your friend" is. The child support payments will be based on those low income earnings.

I frequently hear celebrities and sports athletes earning millions of dollars, and having child support based off that. Then the following year their career is over and they are still on the hook for the huge child support. So this is basically a trick reversing that situation.

When I went to court to have my child support obligations determined I was in college and working. The judge determined that my income was too low and that my potential was far greater, and set my obligation based on this fictional potential. I imagine the same could easily happen if a judge sees PhD on the horizon for a guy making 30k a year. I attempted to fight this seemingly ridiculous judgment with a lawyer and was struck down by the next judge as well.

Make sure you get it worked out early on, since it took 6-8 months after my kid was born to go to court they ended up applying the support from birth (even though the mother/child lived with me not working during this time) and I ended up thousands of dollars in arrears.

After all he kind of earned it.
That hasn't been established yet.There isn't a DNA test but the smart money is that Dan is the dad.

"Longer version: one of my friends, whom I'll call Dan and whom I've known for >12 years since college, came into my office this afternoon almost in tears and told me that his girlfriend just announced that she's 5 weeks pregnant. "

Dan thinks it is his and he is no idiot.