Move out of parents house, or stay??

Ok guys (and ladies), I really need your help. I'm having a tough decision between whether or not I can/should move out of my parents house, or just stay home longer and suffer. Here's my situation: I'm 23, been in the workforce for just over a year now, and commute ~90 miles roundtrip daily from NW Baltimore to just NE of DC, which takes around an hour each way (can take up to 25 min more though if traffic is terrible, as it occasionally is). I have around 10k saved and no outstanding debt. I do not enjoy my job, and am currently looking to find a new one, probably in a different field. I don't hate it to the extent that I will be quitting before finding something new tho, mainly bc I've learned that I need money to survive. I desire to go to grad school full time, and will be applying very soon for fall enrollment.

I'd like to move out of my parents house and to downtown Bmore, mainly because of the social atmosphere. As far as commute go's, it MAY cut it down by about 10 minutes, but city traffic can make it just as long. Basically, commute isn't a factor in making my decision. I've been looking into renting a room in a house downtown, and have come to realize that if I move out, my expenses will go up dramatically. I'd probably be looking at having around $200 monthly in leftover money after all of my necessary expenses are paid for (of which all will go to entertainment). The lease of the house I'm looking at will end in July, which is good in case I don't end up at school in the city.

Now here's where I need opinions/advice. Should I just stay home until I know exactly what I'll be doing come fall of next year, and save money in the meantime? I estimate I'll save around $8k between now and then by not moving out, which won't pay for all of grad school, but a significant chunk. The issues with moving out are that I'm limited to searching for new jobs in the area (which isnt a bad place, if things are available, but id be locked into ONLY looking there). Or should I move to the city, keep at my job, and then leave when school starts in the fall? Another option is to just find a new job asap, which would most likely set me up to start school part time. The way I see it, there is no way I will be at my job come the fall, whether I'm in school or not. There is no opportunity for promotion or advancement of any kind, and my salary is subpar for my position as compared to private industry. I do however have very good job security.

So let me know what you think, I'm sure there will still be a lot of questions to answer. Also I'd like to add that Bmore is the only place I'm considering moving. I don't want to live in the boring suburbs, and DC will be more expensive from what I understand.

Pics of your mom and I'll decide if I would wanna live there.

Don't move out. First find a job you are happy with. If you don't like your current job chances are your coworkers know this and that can be reason enough to fire someone. $200 a month is too tight of a budget... you need to find a way to reduce expenses(roommate?) or increase your income before you can consider moving out.

My coworkers are aware, but my situation is pretty unique..I worked with 2 students, a more senior scientist, and then there's my boss. Only my students know my feelings on the job, and I won't be fired (im federal gov). Expenses can't be reduced if i move out... i'd already be moving into a house with 3 other guys, and for the area there is nothing cheaper that I'm considering (aka something clean/safe/fun area). There's no chance I'll get a raise.

I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy grad school, which is also part of the issue, but I know I need it to get anywhere in life, and I'm pretty sure I'll like a career in public health (which is what I'm looking to get a masters in). There are more locations, but as I'm currently working in DC and living in Bmore, there is nothing fun in between. I'm a 23 y/o single male, i have no desire to live where I will not be socializing with others my age.

shmuey said: I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy grad school, which is also part of the issue, but I know I need it to get anywhere in life, and I'm pretty sure I'll like a career in public health (which is what I'm looking to get a masters in). There are more locations, but as I'm currently working in DC and living in Bmore, there is nothing fun in between. I'm a 23 y/o single male, i have no desire to live where I will not be socializing with others my age.

Please don't come into healthcare (especially in the Federal sector) with the notion you can't be fired, the business of healthcare is becoming more cutthroat than ever--focus on doing your job right each day and being a good steward of tax dollars. Also, be sure your MPH is CEPH accredited and you might get a worthwhile education.

shmuey said: I'm not 100% sure I'll enjoy grad school, which is also part of the issue, but I know I need it to get anywhere in life This statement is complete BS. In fact most people who graduate with a masters and little relevant work experience can't find a relevant job (and won't).

shmuey said: and I'm pretty sure I'll like a career in public health What makes you so sure? Because you like the show Scrubs?

shmuey said: There are more locations, but as I'm currently working in DC and living in Bmore, there is nothing fun in between. I'm a 23 y/o single male, i have no desire to live where I will not be socializing with others my age. Why not try Houston, there are young people there?

You've already wasted your undergrad education and the start of your career. Don't waste any more. Figure out what you want to do by doing it, then go back to school when you need it to advance further.

Whenever i hear Baltimore, I think Hairspray

Good Morning Baltimore (live)

stay home til you find a job you want. why would you move to a place where you're pretty certain you won't be at for very long? find that job you want, move out of the 'rents house, and then you can actually invite ladies over.

the statement about the master's degree really was BS. A two-year degree can get you 6 figures by age 30 at a nuclear plant.. in the SOUTH, even.

and "the boring suburbs"? i live in rural TN, and i'll tell ya i have a helluva lot of fun.. on WEEKENDS. you're in the real world now, kiddo. you work during the week, and live for the weekends at this age (and older, too???). college was fun, now grow up. that place in the suburb you could have might save your job since you won't be as apt to go out some random tuesday night somewhere downtown and come to work smelling and looking like hell and getting invited into the boss's office at 8:17am.

Since you are starting grad school in 10 months, I don't see the need to find a new job. It would be better to show continuous employment on a resume than to show that you quit a job, worked 10 months, and then quit again to go to school.

Move when you can comfortably afford it. If you get along with your parents and they aren't in a hurry to get you out of the house, there is no rush. Find some friends who don't mind you inviting your lady (or guy) friends over to hang out.

Your social life will not improve as much as you think just because you have moved out, however a location change can help. Know that being more "social" usually equates to spending more money, so budget accordingly.

If the social aspect is your biggest concern, join singles groups that do activities you enjoy. Or volunteer. Just find more excuses to be around people and then be friendly.

TheMeliorist has some good advice concerning school. Don't do it just because you think that is what it takes to earn the money you want. Go to school because you have a passion for a particular career field, and you have the right aptitude and personality to get into that field.

shmuey said: Should I just stay home until I know exactly what I'll be doing come fall of next year, and save money in the meantime?

Definitely stay and save until you decide on the grad school/new job. Is there any way the fed employer will cover your grad tuition? Or, can you attend a DC school (George Washington Univ for public health), and live in student-type housing while still working?

Baltimore is in many ways a crappy place to live. Five months of the year you can find yourself sweating through a suit you just took out of a bag from the cleaners in 90+ degree/100% humidity weather and the winters are always filled with 33 degree rainy days, too warm to do snow/ice sports, too cold to do anything else. Almost everyone who lives there is uptight and walks round all day scowling, either because they're in the bottom half of society and have a chip on their shoulders, or they're in the top half of society and are looking down on everyone else. The city is dirty and the crime rate is high, particularly the violent crime rate (close to half of my friends had their houses or cars broken into or were robbed at gun/knifepoint during the nine years I lived there in college and grad school). Auto insurance is ridiculously high in Baltimore - have you checked with your agent about what your premiums will be once you move to the city? Baltimore has probably the fewest acres of parks per capita of any city in the country, those that it has are crappy and not very safe, and, at least as of 15 years ago, it had the fewest public golf courses per capita of any metropolitan area in the country outside, maybe, of NYC.

However, Baltimore also has more exceptional restaurants and fun bars than most other places in the country and very good museums, too.

On the one hand, you could move to Fells Point, Canton, or Federal Hill and enjoy life. On the other, you could be the butt of your friend's jokes about living a sitcom life in your parents' basement, but be comfortable and have peace of mind, if not happiness, as you go to sleep at night (alone).

$200 a month isn't going to go very far toward entertainment, especially if you are dating. That only covers a few happy hours and a couple of pretty modest dates a month and you'll have to eat into your savings if anything unexpected happens, such as car repairs (which inevitably will happen).

Ultimately, I say you should go for it and move out of your parent's house if you can do so without any sort of long-term financial setback (wasting all of your savings, incurring big credit card debts or doing anything that will screw up your credit history). If you do encounter some problems, can/will your parents help you out so that this becomes a less risky path to take? In 15 or 20 years, you don't want to look back at what should be one of the most fun times of your entire life and have regrets. You don't want to be regretting that you screwed up your financial future for years to come, but you also don't want to look back and realize that you wasted a time when you could have had some amazingly fun times with your friends and/or significant others, since once you get married, settle down and have kids, you'll likely have few or no opportunities to really let loose and have those sorts of good times ever again.

Good luck.

Meliorist
My current job is NOT what I’d like to be doing in the future. Couple that with the lack of advancement and less pay than the private sector, it makes no sense to stay at my current job any longer than is necessary (i.e. when school starts/ I find something in the sector I want). Public Health doesn’t necessarily mean working in a hospital, so I’ll completely ignore that ridiculous question. The reason I want to go to school is exactly because I’m under qualified for practically every job position I’ve seen that I’m interested in. EVERYTHING required 4+ years experience/ a masters, and I haven’t found any way to even get an entry-level job in the PH field without a degree.

Mrredskin
I’m not the type of person to be irresponsible during the week and therefore not make it to work on time. I just want the opportunity to join the social sports leagues downtown, live with people my age, and not have to carpool every single weekend downtown to then drive back to the burbs at night.

It’s not that I don’t have a social life… I go out with friends every weekend (usually downtown) and volunteer with a youth group (usually 3-4 things per month). I still have some friends living home, but most have moved out and the rest are also well on their way out. As for living home, I’ve actually been paying rent to my parents ($300/month) to help out with expenses. My employer will not pay for a degree in PH, so staying for schooling has been ruled out. I don't care if random cities across America are better than Baltimore, my question was about Bmore bc of my current job and where my friends are. FYI Canton is where I've been focusing on looking, mainly bc Fed Hill was just too expensive and Fells is too old for me. I think Motuwallet made it the most clear tho… I guess I’m just mainly looking for a place to bring girls back to on the weekends/ not have to be constantly bothered by my parents and the cost/benefit isn’t worth it for right now. I guess I’ll suck it up for a bit longer and keep living home. FML I hate that money controls my life.

They don't drive me completely insane, but I definitely do not have complete freedom living home. I could suffer for another 10 months, but its obviously not ideal.

shmuey said:

I’m not the type of person to be irresponsible during the week and therefore not make it to work on time. I just want the opportunity to join the social sports leagues downtown, live with people my age, and not have to carpool every single weekend downtown to then drive back to the burbs at night.

that makes more sense. i was under the impression you were still kind of in the college phase based on a few statements, which is why i said a few of the things i did. i completely understand where you're coming from with regards to wanting to do the sports league and being around people your own age. i thought i wanted the same thing after graduating, but i landed a good job in rural america. odds are, wherever you get a job that you like, there will at least be a decent sized town close by, and a big enough city or two within a modest driving distance for weekends. although not as abundant, there are still rec leagues in every community. not sure if you're religious or not, but those organizations are always welcoming in newcomers, and often have events. all i'm saying is don't limit yourself to the big city, unless that's truly the lifestyle you want at this point. explore all your options. i wasn't big on the idea of non-city living at first, but it worked out well, and allowed me to buy a house and car much earlier than i anticipated.

but, to answer your original question, like others have: stay. figure out what you want, first. then you can move out.

Living with your parents will hurt your sex life. The only girls who will tolerate living with parents are still in college or also live with their parents.

Provided your parents aren't giving you a hard time about coming in late or not at all living in the burbs is fine. Traffic is seldom bad on weekends or after hours, 20 minutes drive into the city for some socialization is not that bad a price to pay for living rent free. It's helpful to have some friends that live local to your parents to carpool with. Learn where the DUI checkpoints are and how to avoid them. When you see bright and flashing lights in the distance at 2am or traffic is backing up where it shouldn't be, it's probably not road construction, now might be a good time to stop for Wendy's late night...

Even saving one month's rent would probably provide a nice weekend of "socialization" in Vegas or several in AC since you are close to there. Putting together a nice 6 figure nest egg before moving out is a great start to living debt free. You'll avoid auto loans and basically all consumer debt. It's a much better way to start life than paycheck to paycheck but with a great social life.

If you are interested in staying in the area, move to Laurel or Silver Spring. The commute will be greatly reduced and rent will be pretty cheap. Furthermore, it makes more sense to have the longer "commute" on the weekends if you still want to goto Baltimore to party.

If you insist on staying in Baltimore and working in DC, then take the MARC (you bum!). It'll give you some productivity time and a monthly pass is pretty inexpensive. Though trains do like to break down in the summer.

As far as grad school, unless you plan on going to Hopkins or UMB's professional school, why would you stay in Baltimore?

Baltimore's a sh!t hole, and I lived in the nicest part of town for 6 years...

Silver spring and college park are filled with young fools....

shmuey said: There are more locations, but as I'm currently working in DC and living in Bmore, there is nothing fun in between. I'm a 23 y/o single male, i have no desire to live where I will not be socializing with others my age.

What is the upside of moving to the city for you? There doesn't seem like very much.

Staying home +
+ Saving a few hundred dollars rent.
+ Paying your parents $300 that helps thelm in some way.
+ More flexibility in terms of job search, or even school search, because you can always move out.
+ Stability and a quiet environment at home. (I'm assuming)

Moving out
- $200 a month or less remaining as disposable income.
- Uncertainty about new roommates.
+ Possibility of expanded network.
? Closer to social circles. It seems like you are doing fine, going out on the weekends as well as volunteering. But I understand you may want a change.

I think you might have to change to angle of how you view the question to get a better answer. Don't look at it as should I move out or should I stay with the parents. Look at it as WHEN would it be best to move out. Each month that you stay at home clearly saves you money and there doesn't seem to be a large loss. You retain flexibility and can avoid potentially crazy roommates. Once you are more stable, working at a job you like and making more cash, then move out. For now stay and try to take advantage of the situation available to you.

No one has mentioned this, but getting laid has to figure into this cost/benefit analysis. It's immeasurably harder to do when you live with your parents.

In this kind of economy, I think you should stay. I'm 22 and staying with my parents, too. That saves a lot of money. I only have to pay about 500$ a month for food and utility. I'm saving money to marry, thus, I will stay until they kick me out. lol

If you're trying to say a marriage only cost 30$, then you are really an idiot.