Please Help Christmas help Trouble (family) IDEAS ????

Hi everyone and thank you for reading my post well hopefully someone should give me a good idea and a heads up for this upcoming holiday (Christmas). well my question is this, right now i am undecided about purchasing gifts or giving out gift cards. i am planning to spend for this holiday approximately $375.00 on gifts i am currently 21 years of age and i am unemployed and i am currently living with my parents and my girlfriend lives with me in my parent house. well the problem comes to this. i think i don't have enough money save up to give my girl family presents and to my family(mom dad 3 sister and my girl) nieces and nephews(5) they run from ages 3 months to 8 years old, and brother in laws(2) and (1)uncle. i feel that if i only give present to my family my girlfriend is going to feel bad, forgot to say she doesn't work. i also have another option give only her mom a gift but than i feel that her father is probably going to get mad, she also has two sister one 16 and the other like 3 years old. also biggest problem is that my family has increase from being 4 to now like you could say 11 people so i am at 15 birthday presents which is a lot. and you know how people are in today life that if they see that you bought someone else something better then their they will start complaining and feel that you don't care about them. so you tell me what to do no present for no one or can some one give me ideas please i will really appreciate them. sorry for my spelling and grammar. i was also thinking about gift cards as present gift from American Express because i heard that they don't charge no fees which i would love for someone to please verify me this like if there is hidden fees for using the car or not using it etc. well hopefully someone has gone thru this experience and could guide me thru this situation. once again sorry for my grammar and sorry if i post this topic in the wrong section. Happy thanksgiving

updated

For those who have help thanks alot and for those who think i am just fulling around ok whatever you say.

-yes i have save up about 375.00 for gifts and like i say for 15 people

- i am unemployed but i am a individual self investor i am averaging about 2-5% monthly

- the reason why i dont have a job is because remember in New York is hard to get one i have filled many applications and apply over the internet and no one doesn't want to hire me.

-i am going to attend college to finish my accounting degree.

Uhhhh you're 21 years old I think they would understand. One year I made personalized Christmas ornaments for family members. If they are upset with something like that you have bigger problems.

Sometimes the apology is not so literal, but I tell the people who I manage that if they ever find themselves apologizing in advance for anything, it feels a whole lot better to just fix the problem so no apology is necessary. It's almost always the right choice.

You don't seem to be pressed for time, Soriano, and the effort could help you solve much bigger problems.

Skip the gift to parents. Money should be flowing downward to the next generation.

Possible solutions:
Don't buy an individual gift for everyone. Consolidate. Buy a gift per couple, or per family.
Better solution:
Figuring out why you're unemployed as well as your girlfriend. Try to find a part time job for the holidays in one of the stores. Use employee discounts and you'll get a good value out of gifts.

Don't fret over a person being upset about not getting a specific level gift. A nicely written card and perhaps a home cooked meal still go a long way. Get gifts for the kids.
The post is a bit confusing. Do you have 375 that you've saved up? Or is 375 the goal, but you're shy of it. $15 per gift is 25 gifts. $20 per gift is almost 19 gifts. Work within your budget. Try to do something romantic and free or very cheap with your girlfriend as a gift.

Instead of D suggested by blueiedgod, which is a darn good suggestion and one I might consider myself this year. Is to get them a giftcard together for a local restaurant. Could be one that you really liked that they might they enjoy, or one they frequent. If the parents care whether you got it for 20 or 50, then as previously said you have bigger things to worry about, it is the thought.

Soriano4life said:
- i am currently 21 years of age and i am unemployed

- i am currently living with my parents

- my girlfriend lives with me in my parent house.

- i think i don't have enough money save up

- i am at 15 birthday presents which is a lot.

wow. can you send me a present since you are being so generous? you don't work, you mooch off your parents, your gf mooches off your parents... wait, why are you NOT mooching off of our dear government?

I heard that CNN is looking for interviewees. Perhaps a reporter would trade gift cards for your heroic, American story.

Possible solution: Tell everyone you've converted to Islam.

Give the kid a break. He's only 21. Kid, we can't please everyone in life. Let's take a look at your situation. Your 21. Your living in your parents house with your girl. Both of you have zero income. No one in their right mind would be expecting anything from you aside from a card. The DD gift cards are an idea too. But, even then, you'd be dropping money you don't have. On a side note, not sure what to give your girlfriend, but I have an idea on what she can give you. You just need to find some private alone time...

Just to be clear, Soriano4life, your question got so much red:
-because it is hard to read (you should have spent a bit more time and made it presentable, readable, grammatical, etc. -- which I know you COULD have done, even if English was not your best subject in school, or if English is not your first language)
-because your question is pretty simplistic and not the sort of topic that typically is discussed on this Finance forum
-because you said that you and your girlfriend don't have jobs, but you are 21 and living in your parents' house.
-and other reasons as well

Any one of those reasons is enough to attract criticism on this forum, so when they are combined, that will ensure that your question gets a lot of red marks. However, some of the advice that has been given to you above is heartfelt, and you should listen to it (not the rude remarks, of course).

No one knows what your life situation is, your job situation, your family situation, etc. When people have only partial information they can easily get the wrong idea, and be judgmental. A lot of families encourage their kids to live with the parents even when they are young adults, and maybe there is more to the story than just that you have no job, aren't looking for work, and are taking a lot of help from your parents (especially since your girlfriend lives in their house too). Maybe you are helping to take care of your parents, maybe you are disabled - there are many possibilities. And we don't need to know the particulars. (In fact, when asking a question on the Finance forum, it helps not to give such personal information that will lead people to judge you, and just to explain the root of the situation as simply as possible.) The situation is that you don't have much money but feel pressured to give a lot of gifts this Christmas.

People and families vary a lot on their expectations of gifts, and what gifts mean. Some families would be fine with 21-year-olds not giving anything, but other families might be put out at that and register it as a slight.

If I were you, I would explain NOW, immediately, to people (to all the families, and all the adults individually - don't trust one person to relay it to all the rest, because this has to come from you) that this year, due to the recession and such, you'd like to agree to stick to a very low limit on Christmas gifts, and go ahead and name the limit so that the limit is understood (some people think a "low" limit is $5 and others think it's $25, so it's best to be clear), and ask the others not to give you anything, or if they want to give you something, not to give anything that is worth more than the agreed-upon low limit.

Let's say the limit is $5. You can actually do something with $5. You could give a gift card for the exact amount or something else that is simple, obviously, but you could also pay $5 for materials and then make something that would add value beyond the $5 of materials -- such as baking batches of homemade cookies or pumpkin pies for everyone, or making something sewn out of fabric, or whatever craft or artistic or culinary thing that you (and/or your girlfriend) can do well, or creating a book of home-made coupons (for free babysitting of the children when their parents want to go to a movie, or maybe a free car wash by hand, etc.) and which you think that the other people would appreciate.

For example, I have a female relative who gets paid a lot of money by strangers for her very artistic wreaths (round wall decorations). She goes out to the countryside and finds the natural materials to make them with, as well as getting wire and rings and lord knows what at places like Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Jo-Ann Fabrics, Dollar Tree, etc. And then she spends a lot of time making each wreath to the exact colors and measurements of the people who buy them from her. She also makes these as presents for family and friends, and even though the raw ingredients don't cost much, she adds a lot of value to the item, and the finished item is not only personally-designed, but it looks like you could have bought it at a big department store for lots of money. I am not suggesting that this is something that you could do, it was just an example of what's possible with a small amount of money but a big imagination, and a lot of care, and a significant amount of time and work put into it.

In my extended family this year, one of the families said last week that they weren't going to give any gifts at all, and don't want any either. But it's an understood assumption in my particular family that this would not apply to presents for the children (those under 18), and all the adults will probably give the various kids a little something. Some of these families have a lot of kids, and some have none. Therefore, the expense of Christmas is quite skewed (the ones who don't have kids are always paying for three times the number of presents, but not getting much in return since they don't have kids), but that's the way it is in my family, and some of the parents would be pretty miffed if their kids didn't get a little something, so you just go along with it. And anyway, who doesn't want to give children presents - it's a nice thing.

I'm much older than 21, but I tend to give all the assorted children in my extended family pretty *small* presents - let's say, $5 to $10 worth each. And I find a lot of nice things for that, at least, I think they are nice. Sterling silver earrings for the teenage girls, little Craftsman commemorative car tins with a set of real Craftsman tools in them for the boys who are about 9 to 12, and so on. Of course, I use the advice on Fat Wallet a lot in order to find great prices on things, and I buy things throughout the year when I find good deals, so I can have enough when Christmas comes. In February this year, I was in the Minneapolis airport and The Body Shop had put some nice $40 gift sets on sale for $5. So I bought 10 of those right then and there, because I knew that they would work out perfectly for this Christmas.

At least you feel responsible and want to give people something and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Just be sensible and give things from your heart, moreso than your wallet.

comptalk said: Your living in your parents house with your girl. Both of you have zero income. No one in their right mind would be expecting anything from you aside from a card.

I would expect him to:

a.) Get a job
b.) Pay for his own place if he's living with his girlfriend
c.) Be careful about birth control, because if you're unemployed and living with your parents you certainly can't afford a kid.

Soriano4life said: Hi everyone and thank you for reading my post well hopefully someone should give me a good idea ...

Reads like a letter from a Nigerian benefactor.

glxpass said: Especially for your and your girlfriend's younger relatives (and possibly older relatives), give them the gift of time. No, I don't mean a watch. Spend extra time with them, a resource it seems that you have a quantity of. I'm sure that you can come up with free or low-cost activities to do with them.Or, in regards to your parents, make yourself scarce for a while - give them the gift of alone time.

Mark, you need to get a job so you and Becky can move out of the parents house and move into a mobile home. At least move out before David and Darlene move in. This thread is so 1994.

zzzzz said: troll

I agree - I'm betting this guy is a regular who opened up a new account just to post some absurd junk for entertainment purposes.

For those who have help thanks alot and for those who think i am just fulling around ok watever you say.

-yes i have save up about 375.00 for gifts and like i say for 15 people

- i am unemployed but i am a individual self investor i am averaging about 20-50% monthly

- the reason why i dont have a job is because remember in New York is hard to get one i have filled many applications and apply over the internet and no one doesnt want to hire me.

-i am going to attend college to finish my accounting deegre.

NantucketSunrise said: Just to be clear, Soriano4life, your question got so much red:
-because it is hard to read (you should have spent a bit more time and made it presentable, readable, grammatical, etc. -- which I know you COULD have done, even if English was not your best subject in school, or if English is not your first language)
-because your question is pretty simplistic and not the sort of topic that typically is discussed on this Finance forum
-because you said that you and your girlfriend don't have jobs, but you are 21 and living in your parents' house.
-and other reasons as well

Any one of those reasons is enough to attract criticism on this forum, so when they are combined, that will ensure that your question gets a lot of red marks. However, some of the advice that has been given to you above is heartfelt, and you should listen to it (not the rude remarks, of course).

No one knows what your life situation is, your job situation, your family situation, etc. When people have only partial information they can easily get the wrong idea, and be judgmental. A lot of families encourage their kids to live with the parents even when they are young adults, and maybe there is more to the story than just that you have no job, aren't looking for work, and are taking a lot of help from your parents (especially since your girlfriend lives in their house too). Maybe you are helping to take care of your parents, maybe you are disabled - there are many possibilities. And we don't need to know the particulars. (In fact, when asking a question on the Finance forum, it helps not to give such personal information that will lead people to judge you, and just to explain the root of the situation as simply as possible.) The situation is that you don't have much money but feel pressured to give a lot of gifts this Christmas.

People and families vary a lot on their expectations of gifts, and what gifts mean. Some families would be fine with 21-year-olds not giving anything, but other families might be put out at that and register it as a slight.

If I were you, I would explain NOW, immediately, to people (to all the families, and all the adults individually - don't trust one person to relay it to all the rest, because this has to come from you) that this year, due to the recession and such, you'd like to agree to stick to a very low limit on Christmas gifts, and go ahead and name the limit so that the limit is understood (some people think a "low" limit is $5 and others think it's $25, so it's best to be clear), and ask the others not to give you anything, or if they want to give you something, not to give anything that is worth more than the agreed-upon low limit.

Let's say the limit is $5. You can actually do something with $5. You could give a gift card for the exact amount or something else that is simple, obviously, but you could also pay $5 for materials and then make something that would add value beyond the $5 of materials -- such as baking batches of homemade cookies or pumpkin pies for everyone, or making something sewn out of fabric, or whatever craft or artistic or culinary thing that you (and/or your girlfriend) can do well, or creating a book of home-made coupons (for free babysitting of the children when their parents want to go to a movie, or maybe a free car wash by hand, etc.) and which you think that the other people would appreciate.

For example, I have a female relative who gets paid a lot of money by strangers for her very artistic wreaths (round wall decorations). She goes out to the countryside and finds the natural materials to make them with, as well as getting wire and rings and lord knows what at places like Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Jo-Ann Fabrics, Dollar Tree, etc. And then she spends a lot of time making each wreath to the exact colors and measurements of the people who buy them from her. She also makes these as presents for family and friends, and even though the raw ingredients don't cost much, she adds a lot of value to the item, and the finished item is not only personally-designed, but it looks like you could have bought it at a big department store for lots of money. I am not suggesting that this is something that you could do, it was just an example of what's possible with a small amount of money but a big imagination, and a lot of care, and a significant amount of time and work put into it.

In my extended family this year, one of the families said last week that they weren't going to give any gifts at all, and don't want any either. But it's an understood assumption in my particular family that this would not apply to presents for the children (those under 18), and all the adults will probably give the various kids a little something. Some of these families have a lot of kids, and some have none. Therefore, the expense of Christmas is quite skewed (the ones who don't have kids are always paying for three times the number of presents, but not getting much in return since they don't have kids), but that's the way it is in my family, and some of the parents would be pretty miffed if their kids didn't get a little something, so you just go along with it. And anyway, who doesn't want to give children presents - it's a nice thing.

I'm much older than 21, but I tend to give all the assorted children in my extended family pretty *small* presents - let's say, $5 to $10 worth each. And I find a lot of nice things for that, at least, I think they are nice. Sterling silver earrings for the teenage girls, little Craftsman commemorative car tins with a set of real Craftsman tools in them for the boys who are about 9 to 12, and so on. Of course, I use the advice on Fat Wallet a lot in order to find great prices on things, and I buy things throughout the year when I find good deals, so I can have enough when Christmas comes. In February this year, I was in the Minneapolis airport and The Body Shop had put some nice $40 gift sets on sale for $5. So I bought 10 of those right then and there, because I knew that they would work out perfectly for this Christmas.

At least you feel responsible and want to give people something and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Just be sensible and give things from your heart, moreso than your wallet.

hey thank you so much i really like what you said hopefully i learn something from your advice.

If you are living at home you may have $375 in savings but it is fiscally unwise to spend it on gifts when you can not support your own basic living expenses. Until you are paying your own way the best gift you can give is to grow up and start supporting yourself not some useless holiday trinket. How much rent do you pay your folks a month? Maybe you should give then the $375 for all the rent and food and untilities they are paying for you instead of spending it on junk.

Soriano4life said: ...no one doesnt want to hire me...You're a fortunate person if no one doesn't want to hire you!

You may want to exchange your $375.00 into pennies. The copper in pennies is worth more than the face value. I'm sure the receivers can be real creative with the copper from the pennies.

Don't forget this thanksgiving be thankful for your great family that willing to put up with you AND your girlfriend.