So here's the dealio. Created a SN for this - but I'm an avid FWer - Don't want my fellow internet friends to leave me after they find this out
I've been hiding something from my serious girlfriend for over 2 years.
I can't believe I have successfully done it, but it is what it is.
I have 2 webbed toes on my left foot. My right foot is fine. My girlfriend has never seen them. Maybe she has, but she doesn't know that I know that she knows, if she knows... lol. As a matter of fact, only my family (including cousins) know - none of my friends know.
I realize this is a petty issue, and the real issue is the fact that I didn't have confidence/trust to tell her, and I have a feeling she might get upset over that. How do I break this news to her?
We have gone to the beach, pools, do lots of boating on her boat, and have sex... but in all such cases, I either wear closed toe water shoes or socks. I sleep in socks.
She questioned me one time on why I don't walk around barefoot, and I just told her I don't like the feeling, and that was the end of that. No further inquires, in over 2 years.
I need to tell her and work on this issue. I know it's a psychological issue. I was quite ridiculed when I was younger and I think it really got to me. Yeah, it's in the back of my mind that she will say "eww - I'm out" but honestly it's not that likely. Higher chance of her doing for the fact I didn't tell her earlier.
Other than the toes, I'm a decent looking guys. I plays lots of basketball and tennis, cycle about 50 miles a week, and I take care of myself.
I thought about getting surgery to have them separated but I was made the way I am and it doesn't bother my (except mentally) so I think they will stay. Even the Dr. said why go through with surgery, pain, etc when they don't inhibit anything.
Whatcha got for me FW???
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Kandykornhead
Works for The Man
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:09p
That sound you hear is 1) minds clicking trying to figure out which OT or Finance regular this sounds like 2) people googling catch phrases with site:www.fatwallet.com/forums/off-topic
just so you know. Also, I get it but aren't alts against the rules strictly speaking? I'm sure if you asked the mods, "Can I create an alt and say it's an alt just for this question?" they'd ok it. I think they would.
joyrae
Tired Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:15p
Do you REALLY want to stay with a woman that would leave you or be hard on you because of something you've been insecure about your whole life?
Just show her.
Period.
iowahawkeye
Broke Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:32p
socks forever? get the surgery and let those puppies breathe. or don't get the surgery, but take off the socks either way.
(and tell her)
SilverII
Denied!! - Fruitcake
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:32p
pics?
Kandykornhead
Works for The Man
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:37p
SilverII said: pics? Yeah if that doesn't get Darksigh out of the woodwork, IDK what will.
GeorgiaBulldawg
Senior Member - 2K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:40p
If the one I loved had told me about this problem, I would never think anything negative about them. I would accept them just as they are. I cannot think why anyone would ever think bad of you because you have this. OP, think about what if she has something like this that she was keeping from you, would you love her any less if you knew?
I remember when I was younger and dating a girl that I cared very much about. She had epilepsy. She had very infrequent episodes. Never once had an episode in front of me either. She was keeping it under control with medicine. But I knew about it and I never ever felt anything negative towards her.
She was so ashamed about this when she told me. My heart really went out towards her for what she had been dealing with inside, the thoughts of shame she was having. I had a real heart to heart talk with her over this, telling her to never worry about my thoughts towards her, with her having epilepsy. In fact I probably loved her more for being honest and open with me about it.
She was so frightened I would reject her, especially if an episode happened when we were together. I put my arms around her and told her I loved her just the way she was and never ever worry that I would ever think anything different about her, no matter what.
I would have never let anyone ever criticize her for having this. No one ever did, but I would have strongly defended her if it had ever occurred. It was not her fault for being born having epilepsy.
So, OP, please accept what you have and do not let it put you down. Be open about it with her. You will probably be surprised that she thinks it is no big deal. I know I would have that reaction if I found this out about the one I loved.
scrouds
Luddite
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:42p
This is pretty simple way to engineer a "discovery" Just have her catch you at some point without the socks on. She will say something like "OMG I never saw your feet before, what is that?" and you just say "well, my toes are webbed" Then she'll probably try and call you out for hiding them on her and then you just repeat "yeah, I don't like going barefoot" You can also add this one: "I'm surprised you never noticed them before. How long have we been dating and you never noticed?"
If she tries to be a ballcutter and keeps going, just tell her to shut the f*** up. And don't say anything after that about it. If it gets this far, consider dumping her.
Bonus for the next month, if she does anything you don't like you can say "you're just doing this / not doing this because of my toes!"
ganda
Senior Member - 1K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 4:44p
Duckman!
soundtechie
Pickle King
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:05p
It's gonna be funny when you admit you have webbed feet and she admits she's a man.
Connman
Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:10p
You're all concerned about your GF ... what about US - you didn't tell us either!!! Aren't you afraid we'll all create Alts and have them ignore your Alt as well...
bmwtennis
New Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:12p
soundtechie said: It's gonna be funny when you admit you have webbed feet and she admits she's a man.
That has been debunked :-D
DenverDiver
Senior Member - 3K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:13p
KK or MD?
SigX
~~Holdout~~
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:15p
Most likely scenario: OP: I have webbed feet GF: Oh thank Jeebus, I thought you were going to tell me you were broke or your wang doesn't work...
joyrae said: Do you REALLY want to stay with a woman that would leave you or be hard on you because of something you've been insecure about your whole life?
Just show her.
Period.
Heh. Hard on.
ganda
Senior Member - 1K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:21p
I have a physical deformity (well, aside form that one ) that wasn't noticeable (to her) when I met the woman who is now my wife. One the bones in my rib cage is backwards but you can't see it unless I'm really thin. I told her, she had a poke around (you can always feel it if you know where), no big deal.
Just tell her. Make a joke out of it... you know how I'm such a good swimmer...
I agree with the others - if she leaves you over some toes, you've gotten out ahead of the game.
Are there separate bones in there, and it's just a matter of the skin/muscle being fused? Just curious.
iowahawkeye
Broke Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:32p
bmwtennis said: SilverII said: pics?
Can't believe I 'm doing this...
big, hairy deal! (and NICE legs, btw)
looks like a 2nd 'big' toe. not gross at all, just different.
THANKS for posting
bmwtennis
New Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:33p
akiri423 said: I agree with the others - if she leaves you over some toes, you've gotten out ahead of the game.
Are there separate bones in there, and it's just a matter of the skin/muscle being fused? Just curious.
Yes, separate bones. You would never know they are like this is you only looked at an x-ray.
kamalktk
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:37p
If it really bothers you, docs can fix that. Minor surgery since the bones are there.
iowahawkeye
Broke Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 5:42p
since you posted the pics, i would vote against any surgery. you need to come out of the shoe closet and relax.
LordB
Senior Member - 2K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:01p
We're still waiting for you to post about that $250,000,000.
(I have a policy where I assume all alt id's are the quarter billion guy from finance).
Kandykornhead
Works for The Man
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:04p
bmwtennis said: SilverII said: pics?
Can't believe I 'm doing this... Nice tile.
SilverII
Denied!! - Fruitcake
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:13p
unique...its nothing much
Sprintx
Honey
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:15p
She probably already knows but you just don't know that she knows.
ganda
Senior Member - 1K
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:20p
How could she not notice that? You've not had baths or showers together?
Come on, she knows, about the toes, it shows, y'all got afterglow, ya know?
JorgeBurrito
Category IV Economic Depression
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:22p
Pretty sure this means you are one inbred mofo .
burgerwars
just a salad for me
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:31p
I wish the only thing I had to worry about were two webbed toes. Your feet are perfectly formed otherwise. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Any girlfriend who would dump someone because of a couple toes is not a girlfriend.
I grew up with a good friend who had the exact same web toes. Nobody was bothered by it, but he never did live down having a big nose To this day we call him Beak!
packratmarty
Shopaholic Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:50p
Awwww..... they are cute!
HorB
Needs an Ark
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 6:53p
Ok, sorry to threadjack but I need a gender check.
GeorgiaBulldawg Male____ Female_____
Iowahawkeye Male_____ Female_____
joyrae
Tired Member
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 7:06p
bmwtennis said: SilverII said: pics?
Can't believe I 'm doing this...
That's nothing... you should see my tail.
( luckily it tucks easily between my legs and is NEARLY invisible in clothing)
Kandykornhead
Works for The Man
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 7:09p
joyrae said: bmwtennis said: SilverII said: pics?
Can't believe I 'm doing this...
That's nothing... you should see my tail.
( luckily it tucks easily between my legs and is NEARLY invisible in clothing) Go ahead and tell him why you always style your hair with bangs, JR. Might make him feel better.
enterkey
In trouble
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 7:15p
I got a huge burn scar on my chest. I used to be extremely conscious about it as a kid. I used to change quickly for gym class, for example, because I didn't want anyone to see it.
Once I got over that, I realized that no one really cares. Friends, women, strangers at beaches, pools, or street ... it doesn't matter. I no longer hide it. No one refuses me because I have this big, ugly scar, and if they do, they don't deserve me.
I admit that sometimes, I do get some curious stares, but I just assume (imagine?) that I am so awesome that they can't keep their eyes off of me.
( luckily it tucks easily between my legs and is NEARLY invisible in clothing) Go ahead and tell him why you always style your hair with bangs, JR. Might make him feel better.
I should have known YOU'D know about my horns... Pastor KKH
Look, if a girl with vestigial gills and a guy who turns into a wolf once a month can find love together, your girlfriend can get over your flipper.
I'm sort of kidding here...I have preauricular pits. I didn't even think to mention it when Hubs and I started dating (really, who does a full disclosure run-down of their minor physical flaws when they meet someone?) He noticed them but didn't say anything. Somehow it came up in conversation later and I explained what they were. No big deal.
I suggest you let her notice on her own. If she says anything, just reply "oh that...it's been that way all my life. I guess I'm so used to it I didn't even think to mention it."
TheGhoul
Lorem Ipsum
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 8:33p
So how long have you been Aquaman?
larrymoencurly
Why I oughta...
posted: Jun. 12, 2012 @ 8:36p
bmwtennis said: She questioned me one time on why I don't walk around barefoot, and I just told her I don't like the feeling, and that was the end of that. No further inquires, in over 2 years.That proves you can tell her anything and should. So are you going to tell her in a straightforward way, or will it be a game of "This Little Piggy" with a surprise ending?
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