cab ride, sandwich?

Hello,

I have a serious dilemma. I can't decide.

My co-worker wants me to help her with an English project tomorrow from 9:30PM to 10PM after work (no im not talking about a "sex project" late at night lol. im not attracted to her at all). the problem is she wants to meet me at mcd's, which is about 30 minutes from my home and go over her English project for maybe a 1/2 hour. then, we would just walk back home. it would take me about a 1/2 hr to walk home. I usually don't mind walking for 30 minutes but in this cold, cold weather i dont realy want to freeze my behind off. she said her project is due tuesday so she wants me to help asap. I even offered to give her my email address so she could email me the project and i could look it over but she doesn't think thatd help. Its not in me to refuse to help a co-worker because i dont like offending others. also, she told me that she wouldnt have time at work tomorrow to ask me for the help. so, im in a rut.

so far, i only asked her to pay for my cab ride for tomorrow. she reluctantly agreed after i explained to her that i dont like walking outside in the cold. i'm also thinking of asking her to buy me a sandwich at mcds for the time and trouble id be spending. she never did me no favors before.

But, should I ask her to pay for my cab ride and a sandwich? or, just wait for her to mention the two. in other words, is it ungentlemanly to ask a woman to pay for the mans cab ride and a sandwich? (i am having second thoughts that i was being too selfish in asking for her to pay for my cab ride). but, you need to remember that she is the one asking for help, not the other way around. also, the temperature is cold. I dont even want to be outside for a second, let alone 30 minutes walking. also, id have to wake up really early the next day so i dont want to be out really late. i dont think shell pay me for me helping her with the project since she didnt mention the payment to me.

thanks.

funny. but, that doesnt really help me decide

well, i need some serious help and i hate having to decide. i dont know how to decide. i guess i have no real life experience. does anyone have any advice aside from what our friend silverii mentioned?

i wrote a whole wall of text so you all can see the entire picture of what im saying. i dont like to write so much but this is a tough cookie i think.

She wants your McRib

You don't want to come across as a jerk by demanding that she pay for XYZ, but you also don't want to go too far out of your way.

Simple solution - tell her you can't make it to where she wants you to be, but that you can meet her at X location that is within walking distance of your home.

That way she will have to figure out if she wants to walk in the cold or pay for her own cab fare there and back. Since you won't have to worry about cab fare or the inconvenience, the $2 sandwich will seem less of an issue.

WashingtonState said:   Why not have her send it to you so you can review and then meet her in the lunchroom during lunchtime and you can discuss with your recommendations.
Or if you're off at work at 5, just meet then.

well youve a good idea but we cant meet at lunch. I take lunch in the afternoon, and she actually doesn't take lunch since she works from 5pm-9pm in the office. as soon as 9pm strikes, we go in a cab homewards paid for by the company. its a tough one. she initially envisioned it to be that all of us employees would go in the cab. then, me and her would step out of the cab at a mcds about 30 minutes from my home. so that cab ride wouldnt get me home like it usually does. so i asked her if she could pay for my second cab fare to my home and she reluctantly said ok. Im just feeling apprehensive that i went overboard by seeming a jerk

Doesn't sound you like to do this. Learn to say no.

Just tell her no. Tell her you don't feel like majorly inconveniencing yourself. She should get the hint. If she really wants your help and just isn't hitting on you, she will find a way to get your help that is agreeable to you. Or she'll turn into a stalker. It's a win, win, win.

I don't mean to be rude, but how is it that you don't have any experience with things like this and consider it a major problem that requires serious thought? Are you very young (like I said, I don't mean to be rude, I'm trying to understand.)

I'll assume you're fairly young. Here's a general rule of thumb in life: if you need someone's help, you are asking them for a favor (specifically their time, energy, and expertise). In that case, you should go out of your way to not inconvenience them further, you (the person asking for help) should assume as much of the inconvenience as possible, and make it as easy as possible for the other person to help you. While that doesn't necessarily involve feeding you, it does mean she should be trying to find a time and place that are convenient and easy for you. For example, could she come in to work early and meet you before you leave? Or, as others said, she should just email you the paper and let you review it and send her comments. Or, email it to you and maybe schedule a time to talk on the phone to go over your comments. Does that make sense?

[edit: Sorry if I rambled - point is, the person asking for help should make it as easy/convenient as possible for the person who is doing the helping. Person asking for help should take as much of the inconvience on themselves as possible!]

Rule #2 - You are never (ok, rarely would be more accurate) *required* to help someone else. "I'm so sorry, I'm not going to be able to help you this time" is an acceptable response. Heck, "No" is an acceptable response. Sometimes these have consequences, so you should make sure you're ok with that (you may lose goodwill with that person, they may not want to help you if/when you need it in the future), but - there is nothing wrong with saying no, especially to people who frequently ask/expect help without reciprocating.

Good luck with it. Thing about asking her again to send what she has (why won't she do this? Maybe she doesn't have anything done and is hoping you'll help her write the whole thing?) and then asking if you guys can chat on the phone later to review it, rather than meeting in person.

Good luck!

miserly said:   hell, tell her to supersize it otherwise no deal. afterall, you're not some cheapskate, inconsiderate human being....
Supersizing it is what the waitress is for in mcb's joke.

btw....... I was so expecting this to be about a cab ride, one guy, 2 girls and fun..... I was so wrong

Fries, too.

What kind of sandwich?
( Yes it matters )

bestbuy1115 said:   . it was kind of long and hard.

What, no handjob?

No, you should not ask for a sandwich. If she offers, fine.