My wife and I want to go on a vacation over the December holidays with our 16-year-old son (only child). We'd like to go somewhere warm, perhaps with a beach. Our son is not excited about it at all. Over the holiday school break, he'd rather stay home, sleep late every day and hang out with his friends. Any ideas for specific destinations--resort, town, cruise line, etc.--where there'd be activities for all of us but he'd still be able to find things to do himself, maybe with other teens?
We thought about inviting a friend of his to go with us, but many families don't want to send their kid away with another family over the holidays.
We're not super-adventurous--we're not going to be climbing 100 m sheer rock faces or anything like that--but we like to be fairly active on vacation (snorkeling, hiking, tennis, etc.). We don't mind going out of the country, and we like to stay in "nice" places.
As much as you would like to vacation with your son, at 16, most teenagers do not want to vacation with their parents. Do yourself and him a favor. If he really doesn't want to go, don't push it. If you can leave him with a close relative or trusted parents of one of his friends, do it. In the long run, it will pay off. At this age, they want to be with their friends and exert some independence. I used to take my daughter on ski vacations with me, but when she reached 14, she no longer wanted to go and I didn't push it. I offered to take her or, in the alternative go somewhere where she might want to go, but left the decision to her. Of course, I was disappointed when she didn't want to come, but I didn't take it personally. For me, it was easy because her mother and I did not live together so she just stayed with her. She's in college now and will be 20 in a few months and despite a busy work and school schedule, she still finds time to visit.
DSJ said: BTW do you have any idea how expensive travel is during your target dates to "nice" locations?
Yes, quite. We'd prefer to go somewhere on an off-peak time and save some money, but we can't justify taking our son out of school for a vacation. The reason vacation spots are so expensive over the holidays is because that's when everyone wants to travel.
skibum43 said: As much as you would like to vacation with your son, at 16, most teenagers do not want to vacation with their parents. Do yourself and him a favor. If he really doesn't want to go, don't push it. If you can leave him with a close relative or trusted parents of one of his friends, do it. In the long run, it will pay off. At this age, they want to be with their friends and exert some independence. I used to take my daughter on ski vacations with me, but when she reached 14, she no longer wanted to go and I didn't push it. I offered to take her or, in the alternative go somewhere where she might want to go, but left the decision to her. Of course, I was disappointed when she didn't want to come, but I didn't take it personally. For me, it was easy because her mother and I did not live together so she just stayed with her. She's in college now and will be 20 in a few months and despite a busy work and school schedule, she still finds time to visit.
Thanks. We've done that before, and we may throw in the towel this time, too. But I really need a vacation, and my wife would like us to have some "family time."
I like the idea of letting him pick the destination. He likes to ski, so maybe we'll do that. Problem is, I've never skied in my life, and my wife hasn't in at least 20 years.
If we want to give him some choices/suggestions, anybody have any ideas?
I dread the day when my little one(s) no longer want to hang out with us, but I remember what it was like as a teenager. Personally, I really like the suggestion to let your son plan the trip. My wife got to do this several times growing up during those teenage years, and she looks back on it now as some of the most rewarding travels. Her parents gave her a budget and the requirement of it had to be camping, and other than that, it was up to the kids.
I would give your son a budget, days, how you would like to travel (flying/car/etc.), etc. and let him take it over from there. This way he has full control of planning the adventure. He'll also learn budgeting techniques which will be invaluable as he gets older.
If he still doesn't want to plan it or go, then that's another issue.
DogFase said: But I really need a vacation, and my wife would like us to have some "family time."
I like the idea of letting him pick the destination. He likes to ski, so maybe we'll do that. Problem is, I've never skied in my life, and my wife hasn't in at least 20 years.
If we want to give him some choices/suggestions, anybody have any ideas?
Is it really "family time" if you're dragging around a sullen, grumpy teenager who won't lift his face up from texting his friends long enough to grunt at you?
I have two; I know from whence I speak.
But, I've also done the "force them to come along on the family trip" thing, and what seemed to be among the least objectionable was a cruise; you can fly to Miami/Ft Lauderdale and spend 7 days sailing around the Caribbean. The ships are big enough that he can get away from you, and if it's school break time there'll be lots of other kids around for him. You ought to be able to entice a 16yo boy with the promise of a ship loaded with girls in bikinis! I would insist that they eat dinner together at night, but otherwise pretty much on their own. You'll get some great downtime by the pool, he'll get his feeling of independence.
Every family is different, but most teenagers have different interests than their parents - and even when they are similar, will generally claim a lack of desire. If you enjoy cruises, that may be your best bet, but we would generally leave the kids behind, as no one would end up enjoying themselves. Send him on a school or club trip, visit out of town relatives.
Well, one thing is to tell him he is going, as you are a family, and this is a family trip. Stand up to him. In a few years he can do whatever he likes, as he will be away from home. I would not take along one of his friends, because you will be basically ignored. As you make it clear you are going someplace together as a family this holiday season, you might suggest to him to come up with some places he would like to go, things he would like to do, choosing more than one place, and then as a family you decide what is best.
But tell him he is going and he is going to have fun!
GeorgiaBulldawg said: Well, one thing is to tell him he is going, as you are a family, and this is a family trip. Stand up to him. In a few years he can do whatever he likes, as he will be away from home. I would not take along one of his friends, because you will be basically ignored. As you make it clear you are going someplace together as a family this holiday season, you might suggest to him to come up with some places he would like to go, things he would like to do, choosing more than one place, and then as a family you decide what is best.
But tell him he is going and he is going to have fun!
That is great advise if the parents are prepared for a family trip, not looking forward to a relaxing, enjoyable vacation in a nice place; I still maintain that the 2 are quite different for most typical family with one teenager, working parents.
There is some good advice here. Thanks for the ideas.
TropicalTriceps
Member
posted: Jul. 20, 2010 @ 1:21p
I've been in your kid's shoes recently enough to remember and can attest to differences between 1) package tours 2) self-planned family trips 3) independent travel
3 being out of the option, I would highly recommend (like WideOpenSpaces has mentioned) that you let your son plan parts of the vacation and have some say during your travels. Specifically, it'd be great to involve him in the budgeting/cost-comparison and itinerary building aspects.
If you're looking for great beaches, plus a little something more, there's Thailand, Bali (Indonesia), the Galapagos, Australia, NZ, the Maldives, and the Philippines. Your best bet domestically would be Hawaii. I'd recommend avoiding the Carribean or Cancun, which are swarming with touts. Cruises would be a waste of a 16-yr old's imagination and energy.
Also, I wouldn't necessarily default to luxury hotels, especially with your kid in mind. There's a lot of a cultural and interpersonal experiences to be had in pensions/guesthouses, which can be just as comfortable.
Any normal RT ticket to Asia, Europe, Australia is going to run you at least $1.5k during the holidays. If you travel right after Christmas, it's a lot cheaper. If Hawaii's still too expensive you always have socal and florida.
To get your son excited and involved in the planning, I'd point him to-
wikitravel.org tripadvisor.com (marginally useful, but the forums have some great contributors) the lonely planet and rough guide books, available at your local library
Note: If you and your family decide to get adventurous with the planning, note that the ita beta software, as well as nearly all of the airfare aggregation websites, will not yield results from budget and local (other countries) carriers. For that, this list is fairly comprehensive - http://wikitravel.org/en/Budget_airlines
DSJ said: TropicalTriceps said: Cruises would be a waste of a 16-yr old's imagination and energy.
Raging testosterone and 'motivated' cougars...use YOUR imagination. ...in bikinis
To OP: pick somewhere cheaper & let him bring along a close friend or 2? The wifey &u will have as many luxury trips as u want once the kid goes 2 college.
thefangedbard
Tired Member
posted: Jul. 21, 2010 @ 10:52a
GeorgiaBulldawg said: I would not take along one of his friends, because you will be basically ignored.
It'll happen anyways, friend there or not, at least with a friend he won't be as miserable.
If he's 16 it's natural to want to sleep in and hang out with friends, not be forced to spend time with parents. Make it a better vacation for you and a better break for him, let him stay at home (with a friend/with a relative). Insisting he spends time with you now just means he's going to resent it more (and spend even less time with you) later.
One place my kids LOVE to go was down to Myrtle Beach. We stayed @ Pirateland Campground which is right on the beach. We had a pop-up camper, but they have villas you can rent. There are soooooo many teenagers down there, he will meet kids and hang out with them. Because its not like staying @ a hotel, everything is so open, they hang out. It is a great place for 15-19 year olds. There are 2 other campgrounds right there also. Ocean Lakes and Lakewood. I believe that Pirateland and Ocean Lakes are the most popular with the teenagers. It is a HUGE resort campground (both you can rent villas/houses). They rent golfcarts to get around in. Not sure how it is over Christmas since we went during summer. We went every summer for 5 or 6 years. We would drive down (hubby, daughter, my son) and my son's buddy would fly in. They are now 25 years old and 22 and still talk about how much fun they had. There are a couple of pools, lazy river etc.
itsmemom said: One place my kids LOVE to go was down to Myrtle Beach. We stayed @ Pirateland Campground which is right on the beach. We had a pop-up camper, but they have villas you can rent. There are soooooo many teenagers down there, he will meet kids and hang out with them. Because its not like staying @ a hotel, everything is so open, they hang out. It is a great place for 15-19 year olds. There are 2 other campgrounds right there also. Ocean Lakes and Lakewood. I believe that Pirateland and Ocean Lakes are the most popular with the teenagers. It is a HUGE resort campground (both you can rent villas/houses). They rent golfcarts to get around in. Not sure how it is over Christmas since we went during summer. We went every summer for 5 or 6 years. We would drive down (hubby, daughter, my son) and my son's buddy would fly in. They are now 25 years old and 22 and still talk about how much fun they had. There are a couple of pools, lazy river etc.
Arrr for Pirateland! That's a mighty fine treasure chest you have there!
vegaschic
New Member
posted: Aug. 3, 2010 @ 9:27a
We have two kids, 13 yo son and 16 yo daughter. Last summer we did Myrtle Beach for a week and they absolutely loved it. This year we did a 4 night cruise to the Bahamas. It was perfect for all of us! They too, especially the 13 yo, don't always want to be with us. And hey, we want a break from them too (if you know what I mean!). We did some activities during the day together then they went off and made friends with the other teens on the ship. We would then see them for dinner and that was it for the night. We did the shows and they hung out in the teen club. Some days we made them get up early if there were activities they had picked out ahead of time to do on the islands and other days they got to sleep in if they chose.
rtisticone
New Member
posted: Aug. 5, 2010 @ 8:30p
Cruise ship is so the answer! They have a teen club with plenty of things to do and plenty of other teenagers in the same boat!
annalese
Happy Member
posted: Aug. 6, 2010 @ 6:26a
We have been in your shoes..the only exception is that our 16 year old at the time was a girl. Thats painful in itself!
Anyway...we decided to go to an all-inclusive in the Playa del Carmen area of Mexico. We also decided to let her bring a friend. Her friends parents paid for their childs trip. It was the best decision we made. There was no moping around, no sleeping till noon.
They had their own room RIGHT NEXT DOOR to ours. I popped in ANY time I wanted to. I told them we had to eat all of our meals as a family.... everyday.
They had a great time and met other teens not far from where we live.
It worked out perfect. We actually enjoyed spending time with our 16 year old daughter.
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