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My wife tips 20% or more after taxes/drinks regardless of level of service or number of drinks involved because her siblings are servers. For example if we get a couple of $15 meals with sodas at Olive Garden we get a bill around $38 after tax and end up paying around $45 after tip. If we eat fancy (two $50 meals plus a couple glasses of wine) we end up paying like $140-$150 in the end. She tips 20% even at the self serve yogurt places, anywhere that has a tip jar or tip line on credit card receipt, gives Uber drivers cash tip even though it says not to tip, etc. If the server messes up the order she still tips well.

It doesn't break the bank but it's a pet peeve of mine. I don't mind tipping 20% before tax as long as service is good. I just don't think servers deserve so much tax free money if their service is poor. Is this a battle not worth fighting?

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user1337 (Nov. 07, 2016 @ 1:17p) |

Maybe a little OT, but -- see below for description (emphasis added) of Starbucks' tip imputation policy for baristas, d... (more)

tuphat (Nov. 08, 2016 @ 8:04p) |

Tell her 15% is the new 20% and that you don't owe affinity to the servers that are not your family.  A while ago restau... (more)

DamnoIT (Nov. 09, 2016 @ 1:52p) |

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Cool story.

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Don't be a cheapskate. Also, don't assume the money is tax free.

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Either

1) Setup a tip schedule and if she agrees to not go beyond, use it.
2) Never go out again
3) Get a divorce
4) Live with it.

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matrix5k said:   Is this a battle not worth fighting?
  Yes.

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Going out on a limb here. You never worked as a waiter/bartender or in the service industry, did you? Did your wife?

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I could go on a long rant about tipping, but I won't. But I will answer your specific question: Yes, it's a battle not worth fighting. If you can calmly discuss the situation, go ahead. I suspect you've already tried unsuccessfully.

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Seems like a small amount of money to keep mama happy. And you know what happens when mama ain't happy.

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Maybe it will help to realize she's making up for my cheap ass 10% tipping.

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Sackajacka said:   Going out on a limb here. You never worked as a waiter/bartender or in the service industry, did you? Did your wife?

I worked at Burger King making $6/hr as a teen. We weren't allowed to take tips. I did the same work as those take-out places that expect tips: take your order, put the food in a bag with napkins and hand it to you.

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Oh look, another FWF thread about tips. This always ends so well with everyone seeing the other side's perspectives and having reasonable arguments about a relatively minor issue.

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Does the world really need another tipping thread?

Just consider it charity. Or that she spend it on something frivolous.

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magika said:   Oh look, another FWF thread about tips. This always ends so well with everyone seeing the other side's perspectives and having reasonable arguments about a relatively minor issue.
  LOL
 

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My spouse tips more than I do, it just is what it is. If this is the only disagreement you two have, you are in a good place.

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Take small steps:  Start by eliminating the drinks.  Water is perfectly fine. Also reduces the tippable total.
P.S.  I am a consistent 20% tipper at sit-down restaurants, but I truly despise it.

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TravelerMSY said:   Just consider it charity. 
  We could start a thread on how much, if anything, to give to those people standing on medians & holding signs.

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magika said:   Oh look, another FWF thread about tips. This always ends so well with everyone seeing the other side's perspectives and having reasonable arguments about a relatively minor issue.
  Hey, tip however much you please.  But ONLY after you've fully reclined your airline seat.

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cestmoi123 said:   
magika said:   Oh look, another FWF thread about tips. This always ends so well with everyone seeing the other side's perspectives and having reasonable arguments about a relatively minor issue.
  Hey, tip however much you please.  But ONLY after you've fully reclined your airline seat.

  And calibrate your tipping levels for the high property taxes in Texas if you live there

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TravelerMSY said:   Does the world really need another tipping thread?

Just consider it charity.

  
Reminds me of something I heard: If 10% (tithing) is good enough for God, why isn't it good enough for a waiter (server)? Can combine the tithing and tipping threads. Fun!

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You should pay when you go out to eat instead.  Then you can tip however much you want.

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magika said:   Oh look, another FWF thread about tips. This always ends so well with everyone seeing the other side's perspectives and having reasonable arguments about a relatively minor issue.
  

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Here's a tip:
FWF doesn't need another tipping thread.

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I go back to the days 10% was average and you tipped based on quality of service. A good waiter, you gave more. Really lousy got two pennies.
Then I went to Europe where they tack on 15-25% on the bill depending on the country and still expect a tip if they do a nice job.
When I got back, I found out the culture here in the states changed to average 15% tip. Slowly over time, the culture now expects 20% despite the increased prices of the food compared to what it was in the same place the year before.
Your wife is just following what has become the cultural tip. Bear in mind most restauarante do not pay anywhere close to minimum wage expecting the waiter to earn tips enough to cover the difference and report a number the IRS has set as a standard earnings or the IRS comes in running rough shod on the business.
You and I may like it the old fashioned way tipping based on service performance, but the culture in the states has gone to a customary 20% standard even on the radio talk shows about money.

Love her for her. Be patient with her and allow she is following the current custom. If you get an outstanding server, toss in something more than that.

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tuphat said:   Take small steps:  Start by eliminating the drinks.  Water is perfectly fine. Also reduces the tippable total.
P.S.  I am a consistent 20% tipper at sit-down restaurants, but I truly despise it.
 

  If you truly despise it, why do it?  15-18% tip is reasonable.

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JW10 said:   . Bear in mind most restauarante do not pay anywhere close to minimum wage expecting the waiter to earn tips enough to cover the difference and report a number the IRS has set as a standard earnings or the IRS comes in running rough shod on the business.

 

  
Not here.    Several states (AK, CA, MT, MI, NV, OR, NY, WA) pays full minimum wage plus all tips on top.    Our minimum is $9.75 right now on OR.

And the federal law requires that wage plus tips equals at least the $7.25 fed minimum.

 

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cherry3m said:   Maybe it will help to realize she's making up for my cheap ass 10% tipping.
  this. just don't tip when you're not dining with her. your dining out costs should balance in the end

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b534202 said:   You should pay when you go out to eat instead.  Then you can tip however much you want.

I do but she still looks at how much I tip (usually 15%) and tells me to give more. Ah well.

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But does she tip on carry-out?

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jerosen said:   
JW10 said:   . Bear in mind most restauarante do not pay anywhere close to minimum wage expecting the waiter to earn tips enough to cover the difference and report a number the IRS has set as a standard earnings or the IRS comes in running rough shod on the business.

 

  
Not here.    Several states (AK, CA, MT, MI, NV, OR, NY, WA) pays full minimum wage plus all tips on top.    Our minimum is $9.75 right now on OR.

And the federal law requires that wage plus tips equals at least the $7.25 fed minimum.

 

  
Not here.
Michigan's (MI) $2.65 minimum wage for tipped employees was recently raised to $3.10.
If they don't make $8.15 after tips, the employer has to make up the difference. So employers are pretty strict about  making sure tips are reported and taxed.

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Two very important questions that surprisingly no one has asked: Is she using an AMEX card? Is the restaurant padding the tip?

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matrix5k said:   It doesn't break the bank but it's a pet peeve of mine. 
Does she scrutinize each of your purchases? This is pretty minor. Get over it.

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Stop going out to eat... problem solved.

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JW10 said:   Then I went to Europe where they tack on 15-25% on the bill depending on the country and still expect a tip if they do a nice job.
 

  Not in any country in Europe I've been to in the last 20 years.

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First world problems

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matrix5k said:   
b534202 said:   You should pay when you go out to eat instead.  Then you can tip however much you want.

I do but she still looks at how much I tip (usually 15%) and tells me to give more. Ah well.


It's pretty standard these days. Whenever I go out with friends, we always tip 20% no matter the service. Different groups, it's always 20%. It's just the price of going out. If you don't want to tip 20%, stay inside or go to a place that doesn't require tipping like Burger King.
  
I like the quote from Reservoir Dogs, cough up a buck you cheap bastard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C6x2ZajtqE




 

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megatard said:   
TravelerMSY said:   Does the world really need another tipping thread?

Just consider it charity.

  
Reminds me of something I heard: If 10% (tithing) is good enough for God, why isn't it good enough for a waiter (server)? Can combine the tithing and tipping threads. Fun!

  Who pays 10% of their income in tips?

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Is she hot? I am just trying to be relevant.

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I don't understand why people say they are fine tipping 20% for "good service." Why would anyone in any circumstance choose to tip more than 15%?

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user1337 said:   I don't understand why people say they are fine tipping 20% for "good service." Why would anyone in any circumstance choose to tip more than 15%?
  I guess you don't go the same place a lot to get the 'extra special service'.

Skipping 86 Messages...
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Tell her 15% is the new 20% and that you don't owe affinity to the servers that are not your family.  A while ago restaurants mitigated raises by not raising food prices and pushed for a new norm of 20% gratuity.  Now since food prices are up 15% is acceptable, 20% if really good.

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