Get a fish, not a parrot if...

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A pet parrot  squawked to its owner that her husband was two-timing her with their maid...but police said the Parrot's statement would not hold up in court.

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Polly want a back rub.

There is only one animal whose testimony is admissible in a US court: The bloodhound

Man has a talking Parrot that keeps swearing. It will not stop. As punishment he puts the Parrot in the freezer for 5 minutes. When he puts the chastised Parrot back on its perch, the Parrot says "I am sorry about the swearing, lesson learned, but what the hell did the chicken do wrong?!"

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