You got Grinched!

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I wish I thought of saying that, or Merry F**KING CHRIMSTAS BIOTCH!

So I'm heading home and driving by the exit of a shopping mall.  Xmas traffic blah blah blah.  So I'm trying to make a turn at a left-turn light with a very short green time.  Taking forever, because people from the mall are cutting in (despite crossing the line), but whatever -- don't drive near a mall at during Xmas season if you don't want to be delayed.

So the chick in front of me is texting.  The regulars here know where this is going.  I hate people texting without being aware of their surroundings.  We are about 3 cycles away from being our turn.  Green light, she's not paying attention and two people from the mall cut the line in front of her.  The next green she's still looking down while people are going through the light and I do a tap-tap on the horn.  Followed by a long and hard blast (just the way Kamalk's mom likes it). And she leaps forward.  I guess she is used to this sort of thing happening.  She stops just in time because she see's a cop is at the front of the line ahead of us.

The cop is gone by now, as he left after our light ended.  I can see the back of her head (the #1 view guys have of Kamalk's mom, btw), and by the angle, the I can see god damned cooze is still texting.  If Santa Claus were witnessing this, he would have flown down and said "Ho ho ho.  Biotch, green light means go" and smacked her across her face.  But Claus must have been so I took it upon myself to administer some street justice.

I should note that I replaced my stock horns with Hella Superhorns

  When you want them to get out of your way or go deaf. 

By sitting through so many light cycles, I could tell from the pedestrian crosswalk signal that when it hits "3" it takes 4 seconds for us to get our left-green light.  So when it read 2, I did a honk-honk-honnnnnnnk.  Little miss self-absorbed floors it, then slams her brakes screeching and leaving skid marks.  But not before the FLASH-FLASH of the red light camera ensures she will be getting an unwanted Christmas photo of her car.  By then the light turns green and she slows down in one of the two lanes and rolls her window down to yell at me.  Without a witty reply, I pointed at her and laughed.  She flipped the bird and I laughed even louder.  It was worth the 4 minutes she cost me.


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Asshole level 9.well done sir

Cop here advised me during general chat that a person can be ticketed for 'excessive use of horn'. Yep. It's a rule.

Where is Bubb Rubb when we need him?

Canucklehead said:   Cop here advised me during general chat that a person can be ticketed for 'excessive use of horn'. Yep. It's a rule.
  Then the person I'm honking at should not be engaged in excessive use of "Dumb F**k Operating A Motor Vehicle."

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