Memorial Suggestions

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We (my family) are discussing a memorial for a family member. Help me out with ideas and pros and cons. On the table right now are a tree and a bench.
Although I like trees better than benches, trees are subject to disease, whim of the owner of the property etc. A bench (depending on material) seems a more long lasting option.
I'm hoping for some ideas we just haven't considered.
Thank you.

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I like trees too, and the reality is that nothing is permanent. Outside the building where I have my office of campus there is a memorial bench from the 1959 Senior Class. I always notice it because I was born that year. One corner is broken off but it still makes a nice place to sit in the sun.

The only other thing I could think of was a bird feeder/bird bath but that would require ongoing commitment, and it would only make sense if your loved one actually like birds.

Get their name on one of those metal disks they put people's names on and attach to spacecraft to increase interest in science. It could stay up in space indefinitely or wind up on the moon or mars or something.

Do they still do that "Name a Star" thing?

How much are you looking at spending? You could do something like fund a small scholarship for a field that was important to the one being memorialized.

MVP9596 said:   How much are you looking at spending? You could do something like fund a small scholarship for a field that was important to the one being memorialized.
My friend's family established a scholarship fund at the church where she was a member in her memory. They also bought a side table (I think it was) off the sanctuary for the church.

kirbydog said:   
MVP9596 said:   How much are you looking at spending? You could do something like fund a small scholarship for a field that was important to the one being memorialized.
My friend's family established a scholarship fund at the church where she was a member in her memory. They also bought a side table (I think it was) off the sanctuary for the church.

Hello. You've just wandered into Resident Expert territory. There are some pitfalls. Here's a couple of observations: churches are sometimes put in a tough position, like when a lady's grandkids spend umpteen hours crafting a mosaic of the Lord's prayer in memory of grandma and want it to be mounted in the front of the sanctuary. Did I mention it's made of mini marshmallows? Here's another, carved in granite: "This tree planted in memory of Super D. Grandma, 1923-1996". But there's no tree. Ash borers got it. They finally got up the guts to cut down the dying tree, nobody has the guts to remove the stone. The could plant another one, but? Anything with a plaque is really hard to remove during a remodel or redecorating.

I like bench idea. A steel bench wont get destroyed by bacteria/etc when compared to trees..

I live in NJ.. and frequently in downtown areas of towns, I see benches that were dedicated by or for people that have long passed away. They still look very new.
Plus, someone is more likely to sit on a bench than under a tree.. so more people are likely to see what that thing is dedicated for for a bench than a tree.

Kandykornhead said:   
kirbydog said:   
MVP9596 said:   How much are you looking at spending? You could do something like fund a small scholarship for a field that was important to the one being memorialized.
My friend's family established a scholarship fund at the church where she was a member in her memory. They also bought a side table (I think it was) off the sanctuary for the church.

Hello. You've just wandered into Resident Expert territory. There are some pitfalls. Here's a couple of observations: churches are sometimes put in a tough position, like when a lady's grandkids spend umpteen hours crafting a mosaic of the Lord's prayer in memory of grandma and want it to be mounted in the front of the sanctuary. Did I mention it's made of mini marshmallows? Here's another, carved in granite: "This tree planted in memory of Super D. Grandma, 1923-1996". But there's no tree. Ash borers got it. They finally got up the guts to cut down the dying tree, nobody has the guts to remove the stone. The could plant another one, but? Anything with a plaque is really hard to remove during a remodel or redecorating.

The mosaic is a marvelous idea! Kidding. Who would expect a church to put up some kid's artwork? That's crazytalk.

The family worked with church administration to order a side table the fit with the rest of the area where it resides and were respectful of the needs of the church. I think my friend would have been so happy to know what her family did in her memory considering that they were super-duper against her being so involved in the church and the church ministry. She died unexpectedly and the outpouring of support and caring from the church community really opened her family's eyes to see that it was far more than just an organization or whatever they thought the church represented.

Kandykornhead said:    a mosaic of the Lord's prayer in memory of grandma and want it to be mounted in the front of the sanctuary. Did I mention it's made of mini marshmallows?
Toast it and add some chocolate and graham crackers, it will be sacrilicious!

kirbydog said:   
Kandykornhead said:   
kirbydog said:   
MVP9596 said:   How much are you looking at spending? You could do something like fund a small scholarship for a field that was important to the one being memorialized.
My friend's family established a scholarship fund at the church where she was a member in her memory. They also bought a side table (I think it was) off the sanctuary for the church.

Hello. You've just wandered into Resident Expert territory. There are some pitfalls. Here's a couple of observations: churches are sometimes put in a tough position, like when a lady's grandkids spend umpteen hours crafting a mosaic of the Lord's prayer in memory of grandma and want it to be mounted in the front of the sanctuary. Did I mention it's made of mini marshmallows? Here's another, carved in granite: "This tree planted in memory of Super D. Grandma, 1923-1996". But there's no tree. Ash borers got it. They finally got up the guts to cut down the dying tree, nobody has the guts to remove the stone. The could plant another one, but? Anything with a plaque is really hard to remove during a remodel or redecorating.

The mosaic is a marvelous idea! Kidding. Who would expect a church to put up some kid's artwork? That's crazytalk.



*cough* *cough* *splutter* *cough* Crazy talk central indeed *ahem*

How about a dedicated pathway/sidewalk slab? There are some around here that have been there a long long time, and they're impervious to bugs and rot etc.

eta: Although I still vote bench. Where we take a summer vacation has lots of dedicated benches, and I like those.

I thought a memorial was the stone thing on top of the grave with the person's name dates of b&d and a few facts about their life.

memorial
[muh-mawr-ee-uh l, -mohr-]
list of 2 items

Examples

Word Origin
list end
See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com
region
noun
1.
something designed to preserve the
memory
of a person, event, etc., as a monument or a holiday.
2.
a written statement of facts presented to a sovereign, a legislative body, etc., as the ground of, or expressed in the form of, a petition or remonstrance.

region end
region
adjective
3.
preserving the
memory
of a person or thing; commemorative:
memorial services.
4.
of or relating to the
memory.
region end

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/memorial

kirbydog said:   

The mosaic is a marvelous idea! Kidding. Who would expect a church to put up some kid's artwork? That's crazytalk.


I wouldn't expect them to put it up permanently.

But I would expect them to put something like that up for a week, or two, to share the sentiment of the kids with the rest of the congregation.

We have a portion of the wall in the narthex where we rotate different artwork and things that people contribute for a variety of reasons.

I had to ask a coworker what she would prefer we do in memory of her mom, who died last week. They are holding a memorial service on Saturday so I thought perhaps we could send flowers. She said they hadn't ordered anything for the service (it's at the cemetery, but the interment is private on the day before the service). Some families post an obit with an "in lieu of flowers, please send a donation to blah blah blah" note but theirs didn't indicate so I had to ask.

And the funny part about coworker is she asked her overbearing sister what we should do for them and the sister indicated that it should be tall enough to be seen and should be delivered to her home so she can take it to the service location. I was going to order a traditional floral spray that is on a stand/easel but it seems too ridiculous to imagine a person trying to wrestle that thing from their home to the mortuary. Funeral flowers are expensive and of course we can to respect the family's wishes, but I almost felt compelled to get the sister's ok on my order before I place it. What the heck. I've been to services where there is a tiny potted azalea or a cut bouquet of flowers which I somehow imagine was sent by employers or business colleagues. The big floral displays were usually from the family and are in the $200-400 range each.



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